What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 23
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Assistant
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Open to most experiences
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 10+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Drunk Revenge Sex
How long ago did this hookup happen? Almost a year ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met him when I was a senior and he was a junior. He became friends with my boyfriend, and within months they were best friends. We frequently hung out together as a group. I was attracted to him, and he’s very charming. Mexican, my height (5’4”), beard, very sexual person. We often talked about sex and he would brag about his skills, especially oral. I always imagined a threesome between me, him, and my boyfriend.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It was post-grad, I had broken up with my boyfriend (he cheated) and moved back home. I decided to visit my school to visit friends and party for the weekend. He happened to be living with my ex. We went out as a group around midnight to the local bars but had been drinking and smoking starting early in the night. Towards the end of the night, we were walking to another bar and it was just him and I. I was chewing gum, and he asked if he could have it. He leaned in to take it from my mouth to his. I thought it was gross but also kind of sexy. We stood there for a while and then he asked if I wanted it back. At this point, I could feel the sexual tension and when I leaned in to take the gum back, he kissed me passionately. He broke away and took my hand and led me to a dancing bar. We grinded for a while until he asked if I wanted to go back to the house.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Unfortunately, I was quite intoxicated, so I don’t remember the details. We went to the basement where his bed was and made out with him on top. I remember saying a few times “what are we doing?” and “we shouldn’t do this,” but I was having fun. He asked politely to go down on me and then we had sex. Then I was exhausted and began to fall asleep. He asked me to go down on him, but at that point, I was half asleep and said no. I passed out, and he ended up cuddling and sleeping on the futon couch next to my best friend.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? I don’t know
Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I was confused because I couldn’t believe my ex’s best friend had made a move on me. I was satisfied with the hookup itself but felt kind of guilty. We both acted like it didn’t happen.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Intoxication, Revenge / Getting even, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? A little bit
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My best friend who was with me. She was surprised as well that he had made a move on me and grossed out that she had unknowingly cuddled with him after.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? Because it was my ex’s best friend
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? He was excellent at oral
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I passed out early and don’t remember a lot of it.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Nope. I still love casual sex.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I enjoy casual sex. I love experimenting and having fun. I think everyone who’s comfortable with it should do it. The stigma around it is harsh, but I don’t let it get to me. I hope for the day that healthy, consensual sex is celebrated and encouraged with no stigma.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s great.
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