What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 18
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? London
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 4
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? Last weekend
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Tall, knew him well from parties over the years. We’d hooked up before, but not gone all the way cause I was on my period lol, didn’t really fancy them as such but they weren’t unattractive in any way.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? At a party, he asks what I’d do if he leaned in, I said I’d kiss him back and then the night led on… no planning whatsoever.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I blacked out so I have no clue, but I remember being licked out and suddenly something different, if you catch my drift! I got on top but I can’t remember that either. My body was numb I guess.. he was attentive to my needs but it ended because someone came in, put the lights on and pushed us off the bed. Not sexy.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Stressed, anxious, guilt and disgust but I’m okay now – shit happens and it was consensual and I was too numb to feel anything so I basically didn’t have sex right? Not gonna count it.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, I don’t know if my partner was on any (other) method
What were your motives for this hookup? Intoxication, Everyone else was/is doing it, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, I didn’t want it but was unable to stop it
How intoxicated were you? Blacked out / Passed out
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Not at all
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I was too out of it / passed out / asleep and therefore unable to give consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My friends. They consoled me and helped me to understand what happened as I couldn’t. I was upset as it was my first time but considering that I don’t know what happened AT ALL, I’m okay with what happened.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat
Why do you regret this hookup? I didn’t really want it – I fancied someone else that night and I was looking for them! I’m not sure how it happened, this black out drunkness is scaring me a little and I need to tone it down. I was on top of him at one point and he can’t have forced me to so I must have consented… I’m not sure
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? A not too terrible first time (granted not the way I would have wanted it) and now I’ve kinda got it out the way I guess… I just know now that the next person I even kiss, I’ll make sure I really want to kiss them.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? People running in and turning the light on, but I guess that was also a good thing as it stopped us from having sex for any longer.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I’m surprised at myself for having NO STRONG WILL!!! but this has taught me that sex won’t be scary when it’s with someone I really like/love. I need to be more responsible and drink less and not go out drinking without having any dinner.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I hope I’m not the only one that this has happened to.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex is a cool thing which should be respected for both genders! We should all do whatever we want whenever we want to, but consent and trust and intoxication are all issues that need to be considered.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Really cool
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!