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What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 50
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? London
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Teacher
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 14
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Drunken Fumbles

How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 day

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She messaged me on a dating app, and we exchanged a few messages in the day or two before the hookup. A date was floated, but then it emerged that we both still live with our exes, so it was obvious that this might be complicated. Her ex was away over new year so she invited me over for dinner that evening. I pointed out that if I went I’d have to stay over because she lives miles out of town and we were intending to do some serious drinking. She said to come over anyway. We agreed that we would start off with one glass of wine and see how things went, with the understanding that either of us could call things off at that stage. She also said there was a sofa bed I could sleep on, so there was no expectation that we’d share a bed.

Needless to say, once glass led to another.

After the first glass, I asked her how things were going, and she said she thought we should carry on ‘at least as far as the sofa bed’.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We shared a bottle of wine and chatted while she cooked dinner for me. After dinner we started on a bottle of single malt and chatted, and then at around midnight we began a game of scrabble which went on for hours and during which we drank the whole bottle of whisky. The conversation over the game grew increasingly sexual and flirtatious, with us exchanging long gazes and at one stage having a long discussion about the word ‘cunt’. By the end of the game, though, we were both flagging. I asked her what she wanted to do, and she invited me to sleep in her bed with her.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Waiting for her to do her bathroom things, I realised I was absolutely terrified of what was about to happen, and my body began to shake uncontrollably. This was the first time I was going to have sex with someone other than my ex in almost 20 years, Plus I was very drunk and extremely tired, and quite annoyed with myself for getting myself into that state. I don’t think she was too much better off thank me, although she didn’t seem nearly so nervous.

We got into bed and wrapped our arms around each other, and began kissing each other on the lips. It felt wonderful to be held in her arms and we lay for ages wrapped together, running our hands over the other’s body and exchanging small kisses. I put my hand on her breast and it felt quite wonderful. She has very large, hard nipples and feeling it stiffen really started to turn me on. I pulled up her top and kissed her breast, taking the amazing nipple into my mouth. She sighed and pushed her breast towards me. It was really sexy. I did the same to the other breast, enjoying the sound of her voice, and slid my hand down towards her pussy. She opened her legs and I started to stroke her pussy through her knickers with my hand flat. She moaned more loudly and raised her hips, pushing her pussy against my hand. I kept stroking her, and suddenly felt an amazing wetness. I realised her knickers had got pulled to the side and almost without realising, I was stroking her extremely wet slit. It was one of the sexiest moments of. my life, as at times over the last years I’d wondered whether I’d ever have sex again. And here I was with my fingers sliding in and out of this sexy woman’s dripping wet pussy while she moaned yes, yes, yes, over and over. It was wonderful.

I peeled off her knickers, got between her legs and looked at her pussy. It was lovely – smooth and soft, decorated with just a little pale hair. I began to go down on her, but she didn’t seem so into that as when I’d fingered her, so I moved back up the bed and she reached down and began to wank my cock. My god, she knew exactly how to touch me and I quickly grew very hard. Then I moved between her legs and she guided my cock with her hand towards her cunt. I hardly even know how it happened but next thing I was inside her, and she was lifting her hips towards me and moaning loudly. For a few moments it was the most glorious sensation I could imagine.

Then things started to go wrong, I slipped out, and reaching down I realised I was starting to lose my erection. The drunkenness and tiredness I think were affecting us both, and she pretty much called a halt before we could get going again, saying she had to sleep. We curled up together and fell into a broken sleep in each other’s arms.

In the morning I was horny, but she didn’t seem too interested. In fairness she was expecting a mechanic to arrive at any minute to fix her broken down car, and I knew she was also a little worried about some personal stuff she had to sort out that day. She got up, and I did too, and we chatted over a cup of tea before the mechanic arrived just as we were saying our goodbyes. With a hug and a kiss I left, feeling uplifted yet a little sad that we’d both been so drunk and tired that we hadn’t really been able to enjoy each other fully.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Much as before. I wish I hadn’t got so drunk. I wish we’d gone to bed earlier. I wish I’d had the courage to suggest it sooner. But, I hadn’t had sex with anyone new in so long that I thought it would never happen. But it has. Which only goes to show that you’re not too old until you are; that life can always surprise you; and that shark an entire bottle of whisky is really bad preparation for sex. Although without it, the whole thing might never have happened, so I suppose I should be more grateful to the amber gold.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have, Intoxication, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? Completely wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Completely wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I briefly mentioned it to a friend, who was really pleased for me as she knows I’ve been going through the horrors lately.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It happened! And hearing her say yes yes yes as I fingered her.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Losing my erection as we were fucking.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No. I think it’s fine if that’s what everybody wants. I wanted it then, and I still want it now.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I thanked her in the morning, and asked her if she had any regrets. No, she said, other than drinking so much whisky and staying up so late. So at least we were both similarly regretful.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think it’s really important not to mix up sex with love and romance. In fact, I think that love and romance are massive lies, and sexual fidelity is the biggest lie of all. We are non-monogamous sexual beings, and in my view we should accept that fact and act accordingly. Casual sex is normal, natural and healthy, and my only negative feelings around it concern how difficult it is to get as a 50 year old man who has very definitely seen better days, physically speaking.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Love it. It’s a great resource, and so revealing of human nature.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!