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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 26
What’s your race/ethnicity? Mixed / Multiracial
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Boston, MA
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Veterinarian
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (open)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Somewhere on the spectrum, and comfortable with not knowing where that is just yet
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 8
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

A Dutch Marine in Ecuador – A Transfer From A Girls Travel Diary

How long ago did this hookup happen? 4m ago

What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (open)

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Jasper was my first fling of summer 2016. The boy (I say “boy,” because we all say “girls,” but he was 24 at the time) has curly brown hair, beautiful olive skin, and delicate features. His little nose was slightly upturned, had high cheekbones, and a dimple in his chin as well. He served as a Marines for a few years and stays active as an amateur rugby player. His body was all muscle, and I think he’s about 5’10.”

We met by happenstance. My friend and I were spent this summer working in an Ecuador, but we took a week to travel a bit before rolling up our sleeves for the next 8 weeks. That day was her 23rd birthday, and we decided to stay in a notoriously rowdy hostel in Quito to find the party. We planned on getting turnt that night, and our hostel had a bar crawl planned for that evening. Everyone was going, so we did too, and headed up the place’s rooftop bar for a little pre-gaming. That’s when I saw him.

J was high, and grinning this gorgeous crinkly smile (also – the man has great teeth). He was also constantly moving. He seemed to be flitting around the room, talking to people (that may or may not have actually wanted to talk to him), flashing his smile and bumming cigarettes. I was intrigued. I think J is maybe a bit of a dick, who likes to play contact sports and get fucked up more often than is healthy. A bro… but hot damn, a cute one. And he was Dutch and FUCK ME that accent is adorable. Anyway, it seemed like every time I looked up this guy was right in front of me and, more than once, looking at me. In short, I found him very, very attractive, and I chose him for my evening hook-up goal right then and there.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We had exchanged a few words casually while the bar crawl group got progressively tipsier, but not much. We laughed about how much the Australian women had overdone it and eyed each other throughout the night. I was with my friends, and he was with his. I kinda forgot about him until like 2 am when, for a series of ridiculous reasons (oddly enough, mostly having to do with the fucked up Australian chicks) we were thrown together.

I was clear across the hostel’s frankly enormous structure brushing my teeth & giggling with these hilarious Scottish girls when this enormous American dude showed up then and suggested we all go to the roof to smoke some weed. The Scots were pretty meh, but I was intrigued and said maybe. On my way back across from the hostel (I was a little lost), I bumped into J looking sexy and shit. I told him about the smoke session, and after a protracted whispering session it became clear that J was, in fact, the owner of the weed, that everyone else was gone, and he was still willing to share. The issue of where to smoke stumped him, and I was like, “…Outside.” And out we went.

We sat on some out of the way landing on this grand staircase, just murmured conversation for probably two hours. He talked about his military service and going back to school, and I told him about the exotic pet trade crisis in Ecuador and zoo med. We just connected, and smoked until it felt like our bodies were humming. This whole time we hadn’t touched once, but I was aching for him. I was only wearing a sundress and a hoodie. No bra or underwear (I was getting ready for bed before…so, yeah.). Knowing how easy it would be to slip him inside me had me pulsing between my legs. We did share a bottle of water to ease the dry mouth, which was surprisingly sensual.

Finally, we were too cold to stay out any longer and went back. The night guard was watching us closely, and I sort of panicked (we’re not supposed to have guests in hostel rooms. EVER.), and just said goodnight really quickly and zipped into my room. Poor J looked so confused and started up the stairs. Before I closed my door, he actually ducked his head back and haltingly asked didn’t I want to hangout upstairs? I was like ‘nah’ & shut the door. Then I just stood in my room, in the dark, thinking, “Yes?No?Yes?No?Yes?No?” for what seemed like ages (but was probably like 1 min). I was interrupted from my sudden panic by the sound of the final (I kid you not) Australian lush stumbling through the front door, begging for someone to help her find her room. I stepped out to help the poor girl and ran smack into Jasper. Turns out he had the same impulse, and we helped her to the nearest couch.

Then we just kept walking. It was just understood what would happen next. It was like there was electricity between us, and the tension was killing me. We continued up to the third floor, still not touching, and walked directly into a darkened lounge. The common room only had two armchairs, and actually had three bedrooms opening directly into it. He sat down in the chair and said something about how we could squeeze onto one chair. I sat in his lap. My dress pooled around my hips as I pulled my knees up to fit in the cramped furniture. I felt like the moment he touched my skin anywhere else, I would orgasm. He put an arm around me and kissed me gently. He was shaking (hopefully from excitement, and not from the sheer number of substances in his body). And so we started.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end?  Jasper rested his hand on my knee, and tentatively slid it up my leg, then made a little sound when he noticed my nakedness. He fondled my ass and squeezed it hard, and then almost instinctively slid two calloused fingers up my vulva – just skimming wetness – and stoking his fingertips over my clitoris. I couldn’t help it and gasped very loudly. We covered each other’s mouths then & stifled a quiet laugh.

Then we became impatient and picked up the pace. I had my hands under his shirt and was feeling his chest, and neck, and abs, and thumbing his nipples. I pushed his shirt up to bite one, and he pulled my head back by my hair to bring my mouth back to his. While we kissed, J was fumbling around trying to finger me. I took his hand away and put his fingers in my mouth. They were salty and tasted somehow satisfying. Then guided them back in. His fingers are thick and calloused, and they worked well too. He rocked three in and out and I quaked with a drug intensified orgasm. At the time he groaned a little and I thought, damn…I need to remember this.

Jasper pulled me on top of him, and we struggled to get his penis out. Suddenly he just scooped me up and put me down on the opposite chair. J stood in front of me, unbuckled his pants, and honestly I started to cum just watching him in the hazy light. Then he knelt down and opened my knees. I crushed my hips to him (seriously — it’s beyond my control), and we kissed, and nibbled and sucked at each other’s ears and necks, and lips. He had pushed my dress all the way up and started working on my left breast. I grabbed his cock with one hand and dug my nails into his tight, round bum with the other. I groaned as how thick it was, and how his dick slightly curved up which meant it would nail me right in the sweet spot. He murmured a question, asking if it was alright, which made me want to ram him inside me more than ever. I asked for the condom though our kiss…and the boy didn’t have one. I told him it was necessary. By then we were so aggressively crushed together that I had to make myself let go. I hesitated, and he groaned. He disentangled himself, then licked from my throat to my vulva and then stood up to head for the door.

I wasn’t sure what to do with myself while he was gone. I was so incredibly aroused, I can’t remember feeling like that ever before. My entire body started to shake when I thought about him inside me. Hips jerked, my chin turned up to meet a mouth that was not there, and my vulva *literally* dripped wetness. I was still so stoned, and all of this was just blowing fucking my mind. I was reveling in all the sensations and our eagerness.

He wasn’t too long, and I looked up at him in the sudden light from the hallway. J was between my legs in moments, and his lips felt cold on mine. He bit my breast, and I started to unbutton his pants. They were entirely buttoned, and it took me ages to undo them, which just added to the insanely intense anticipation. He pulled me on top, again, but the same issue with penis maneuvering came up. Again, he swung me up and plopped me down back into the first armchair. I think I must have yelped when he stood up because my Timberlands kind of smacked into him, but he only laughed.

He slid his pants off, gloved up, and knelt down again. I put my hand on his face, with my thumb right by his mouth, and gently pulled down his lower lip. We breathed into each other, then I kissed his lip, then his open mouth. He pressed his penis into me and I pulled his hair hard as his did it again, this time penetrating me.

CHRIST that feeling never gets old. Then we were fucking. So. Hard. We pulled and pushed clothes out of the way to make as much skin to skin contact, but never undressed. I’m not sure what happened next. I can’t be responsible for the sounds I made, and even when we heard people walking down the hall (we shut the connecting door), we kept driving into each other and making whatever sounds were necessary for that moment. My legs were locked around him, and I had a couple fingers in his asshole, and the other hand stoking his balls. Somehow we ended up on the floor, which was wooden and creaky. Ultimately I was on top, and I fucked him until he came on his back, buried in me, and I came again right after him – which was a first for me. And perhaps only time, for that matter, that I will orgasm *almost* in synch with my partner. He kissed me on the mouth hard, and we eased apart.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Almost as soon as we settled next to each other on the floor, we heard someone walking in one of the bedrooms, and fucking bolted out the door. All the other common rooms had sleeping drunk people, and we were feeling all weak and woozy from sex, so we just sat against a door somewhere. We scrunched together, and congratulated ourselves on a job well done, and giggled about stupid jokes, He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and gripped my outside knee, and I tucked my head into his chest. Just when we were comfortable, the fucking security guard came snooping by. He stopped to talk to us and demand to see room keys, and then just lingered. J slinked off to remove the still in place condom (it had been like 10min already), while I struggled through some Spanish.

The guard eventually left, and I think I fell asleep for a moment. When J got back he added me on the various social media things and insisted on taking a photo of me. I can only imagine how disheveled I look in the picture. When I started to fall asleep mid-kiss we decided to part ways. We said goodnight, and ‘maybe see you somewhere in the world.’ He was getting on a 10 am bus to Cusco in a few hours, so this was it. I had taught him a handshake earlier that my swim team used to do, and he insisted on that being out final parting gesture. God, this guy was just a delight.

I got back to my room at 6:15 am, slept until noon, and woke up the next day feeling dehydrated but great.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), Intoxication

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Only one friend (not my travel friend), but another colleague who is familiar with intense and fleeting attractions hostel travel facilitates. She thought it was fantastic.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Other

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The physical release. I have NEVER had sex that felt this good before, even with my longterm partner, with whom I am very much in love. Our sex is just different. He’s wonderful, but not sexy. Whenever one of us travels for our careers, we default to open status.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Nothing is coming to mind. It might have been nice to sleep together after sex, but I hate waking up with someone I don’t know. This was perfect.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Absolutely. I’ve never had multiple orgasms before, or really any orgasm without carefully orchestrated penetration. With J they just happened organically, and it was incredible.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? It wasn’t my first or even last of the summer, just it was without a doubt the best of my life.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? People can connect in innumerable ways, and they can all be positive or negative. Casual sex is just one. It can be exquisite, or it can be horrible. It is foolish to pretend that all causal sex is something to feel shame or regret over because it can be almost anything to the people involved.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s fantastic.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!