What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 18
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? British Columbia, Canada
Highest education received: Not graduated from high-school
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How to End a Relationship (with great sex)
How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 months
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Elliot and I had been “friends” for over a year, though I think in the first year of friendship we hung out probably once. He was 6’3″, goofy, muscular. We met through friends. For the first year of friendship, I didn’t really think much of him. We had a few drunken long hugs and cuddles when we bumped into each other at parties, but during the summer, an intense attraction started develop. We became very flirty when in private (we worked together with his girlfriend as well) and at first I thought it was dangerous and had a lot of guilt about it)
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? One night, I crashed at his house. I was in a monogamous relationship at the time, though we’d been going through a “rough patch” for about 2 months or more, on and off. I had tried to break it off with them but always found it too difficult. That night when I slept over, we snuggled, as we had been for the past little while, but suddenly we found ourselves kissing. A lot. Before I could register what was happening I had my hand down his pants and mine were off. I pulled away and we talked over what was happening. We decided to try to control ourselves until we could reevaluate our respective relationships.
I felt an intense fear about breaking up with my partner at the time. They were extremely emotional, and I felt a lot of guilt around our relationship before cheating. I felt quite trapped and kept looking for a better time to break up. I didn’t want to hurt them.
About two or three weeks later, after many almost-hookups with him, we found ourselves alone in a bedroom. We were fooling around again, and this time I didn’t catch myself until we were both naked and panting, his cock right at my entrance. He kissed my neck once and I whispered into his ear: “Get inside of me, please”
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Elliot was, and remains to be, the best lover I’ve ever had. He went down on me for a loong time and made me cum about three times in a row, which I’d never have happen before. We had oral and vaginal sex, and I have never been so caught up in the heat of the moment. He is quite naturally dominant, though always gently checks in to make sure everything is something that I want. I’m tall and I’m not used to someone who can pick me up and do what he wants with me (with my consent.)
Our first hookup ended with us both parting and me promising myself that I would break up with my partner.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I managed to do break up with my partner the next day. It was emotionally taxing and painful but I had very good sex afterwards. He broke up with his girlfriend a couple of weeks later.
Since then, we’ve hooked up more than a few times. We’ve delved into a bit of the kinkier stuff (I believe next time we’re hanging out he’s tying me up by the wrists and blindfolding me) and I couldn’t be happier. He is extremely respectful towards me both in and out of the bedroom. We are excellent friends, and though at first it took a while to get used to not actually dating him, I now feel no jealousy when I hear about his feelings for other people. We have behaved slightly romantically sometimes but it’s mainly about friendship and sex. I am very happy.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) IUD (Intrauterine device), Discussed STI testing history
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, exploration, frustration with current relationship.
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told my closest friend, who simply listened, congratulated me on the good sex, and told me they wouldn’t judge me for cheating as they could never fully understand the situation.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The emotional closeness and safety I felt. The mind-shattering orgasms. The extra push it gave me to break up with my partner.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? probably the fact that I was in a relationship at all. Would’ve been great to not have that guilt that shrouded over it for the 24 hours after.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Absolutely. I used to not think I was capable of cheating and now i understand it. I also thought I couldn’t have sex without feeling sad about the lack of commitment, but that is veryyy not true.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I love casual sex. I think everyone needs intimacy and anyone, regardless of whether or not they’re a partner or friend, can provide that. I wish that more people saw it that way. I don’t think cheating is good, but I believe it was one of the only ways my relationship would’ve ended.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? EXCELLENT!
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