What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 27
What’s your race/ethnicity? Mixed / Multiracial
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Germany
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? too many
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? none
Ending A Relationship With Hot Emotional Sex!
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2,5 weeks ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually
How would you best classify this hookup? Sex with an ex
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? DK is my ex, whom I had a short but very intensive relationship with and I sure did enjoy a very lustful time. He looked as attractive as always with his dark brown beard and bright green eyes, beautifully shaped mouth. We had been together as I was 14 and he was 16. I had been the first girl he had kissed. Twelve years later, we met again and fell for each other instantly. He had no other girlfriend after me and the couple dates he had weren’t enough for him to have sex. After 12 years I deflowered him passionately. But the funniest thing was: He had introduced me to kinky sex, where I had played the dominated part. I really loved it and it was the best sex I ever had. But sadly, I started hating some of his personalities. It was the best for both of us that we broke up two months ago after only 6 months.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We hadn’t contacted each other for 2 months at all until the evening of the hookup. I had lost my job and remembered I had promised to pay back some money from my first paycheck. Because I lost that income, I was afraid he would hate me more than ever if I hadn’t at least inform him. So after a brief call, we met up and both desperately wanted to have a good closer after our nasty break up. Sex had never been the plan, neither had making out or even touching one other. I instigated the first move to come closer to him, and after us holding hands my lust for him burned up as if we never had ever had any fights at all. For him, it seemed the same and we both knew we could just stay and let it happen or be smart and leave that closer with positive thinking and no remorse. He wanted to drop me off back at my place, but I could not get out of the car without kissing him. So again I instigated the next step. We kissed, and drowned in each others’ scent. I love his smell and he is the best kisser I have ever met. I love his kisses. I loved him a lot.
We both agreed I wanted to have each other one last time without any hatred, wrath, mad or hurt feelings. Just enjoying each other one last time. So I grabbed my bag and we drove to his apartment.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Fertility awareness (days counting, temperature)
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My best friends. They weren’t thrilled, because nobody liked DK after all that happened. They thought I was quite impulsive and stupid for letting my horniness jump in and take control over me.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively negative
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? Because showed me what I can’t have but will always miss, because there will be no other hookups with this fine man. We will never make it in a relationship and we are just to toxic to each other. The sex would be great to have, but not the emotional conflict it put us in.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The positive closer-feeling of being able to let go of negative feelings towards him. I would have had always carried an injured part of my heart and now I can let go. I can as well look back and be grateful for our time together.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I miss him more than ever. Because I can’t be mad at him anymore, I really wished I could be mad again. It would make it easier.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I wouldn’t say it changed the way I think about sexuality, but it changed me for the better.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? You absolutely must want what you are doing or else it’s super painful and annihilating. But in my case, it was definitely was for the better and I enjoyed it very much after all
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? interesting. it’s like the dirty friend you feel you can tell any secret and not being judge by or feel ashamed. Good, it sure did help me!
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