by James

Gender: Male
Age: 42
Race/ethnicity: Scottish
Current location: Scotland
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Customer service
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: Catholic
How religious are you? Very
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 1
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Excitement At Last!

How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 months ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Friends with benefits

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was a little lady with an innocent face and someone I had known for well over 20 years. She lived in a neighbouring village to mine. For that length of time the relationship was platonic. I developed feelings for her as we socialised very often and I wanted a romantic relationship with her.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I asked to kiss her in a car park after a party as I wanted a romantic relationship.She then took it on a stage further subsequently.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? She aroused me by putting her hand on my thigh and this increased my level of attraction for her. Eventually we kissed again in a car park at night and knowing my lack of experience said she was going to educate me! She put my hand on her breast and then opened up her bra exposing her breasts. I loved the experience of kissing her breasts and seeing her nipples get erect and she then guided my fingers into her vagina which was wet while I masturbated her. I was massively aroused and I then took her hand and placed it on my penis. She then masturbated me until I ejaculated. This was a magnificent experience.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? Me, yes. Her yes.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? None. We decided not to do penetrative sex as she did not want to become pregnant. She told me only 1 other person had done to her what I did as she did not allow him to penetrate her either.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? We wanted to find out if we could have a romantic relationship following a longstanding platonic one. We wanted to express physical affection for each other.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? None. My partner did drink some alcohol but she was sober enough to know what she was doing.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We did the same thing once or twice more. I felt a huge burden had been lifted from me as I had suffered from love shyness. It was a relief to be able to reclaim my sexuality. This was a huge development for me. There is no more romance with my partner and the relationship has returned to being platonic. Relations between us are still friendly and respectful. I am a bit disappointed my partner did not become my longstanding girlfriend but she has done a lot to give me more sexual confidence.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My therapist and 2 close friends. They were all surprised but happy for me. They knew I lacked sexual experience.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I loved the arousal and the emotional, psychological and sexual bonding I felt. It felt great to be wanted as well. This experience dispelled my sexual anxiety and I now realise sex is to be enjoyed and not repressed. I have a far stronger sense of my sexual identity now which will help me in my love life in the future.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? Yes. Anyone can overcome the anxiety of love shyness and social anxiety as long as they are prepared to put in the effort to do so.

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