by Kimberly

Gender: Female
Age: 21
Race/ethnicity: Asian
Current location: Los Angeles
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Occupation: Full time student
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: Buddhist
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)?15
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

EXcounter

How long ago did this hookup happen? One week ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? “Sex” with an Ex

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? This young man is a few months older than I, tall athletic build with bushy eyebrows and of Caucasian and Hispanic descent. I have know him since we were 15 years old in highschool when we dated briefly. I met him through mutual friends and reconnected again last fall. This is the ex boyfriend that took my innocence and I to him as well. Prior to the hookup him and I were casual ex’s that were friends. We do have a friendly relationship, very flirtatious. Ever since we became friends last fall he has persistently attempted to hook up with me. He inquired what my plans were on the Fourth of July and I said I had plans to attend a party and he wanted to join. During that day of the fourth, I was currently on a date with another guy and wanted to get him ASAP. The ex picked me up 20 minutes after and he played a song called “Often” from my favorite artist. I was sold, I welcomed him to spend the night if he needed to since I was home alone.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? At the party we drank, flirted held hands as if we were a couple throughout the crowd. I kissed him on the cheek prior to leaving him to take my girlfriend to the restroom. In response he challenged me to give him a real kiss. Very unlike my behavior I decided to hug him and he took the initiative to kiss me. We made out briefly and I left to the restroom with my girlfriend.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We left the party back to my house where we parked in front of my house. I offered him the guest room and he declined insinuating my bed instead. He ate and I invited him up to my room for the first time ever. Back when we dated I was 15 and could not maneuver boyfriends into my room. We made out on my bed and he over estimated and rolled us off my twin bed. We continued to make out as he began to touch me. I could not resist the temptation so he continued to stroke, rub, and caress my pearls. However I could not bring myself to allow him to enter with his hands. As I moaned and groaned, he asked me to look at him as he called me baby. I did not orgasm but was very aroused as he said I was wet. It was a euphoric feeling over my body as I continued to torture myself by being pleased but not allowing him to perform any type of oral. As I lay on top of him, on my bed I dry humped him against his erection. I decided to tickle his fancy by stroking him. I liked to tease him and give his erection some type of pleasure. He expressed how he wanted to have sex and that he was “not the type to not talk to me again”. Ironic since that’s what happened in highschool. I repeatedly told him we are friends and had to answer his question that we are not going any further. As we lay tired at 4am he apologized for hurting me in the past and said he had a good time with me. I found it odd that he wanted to apologize for what he did in the past. I do not have any hard feelings against him, I never loved the kid. Just like and lust. We came close to an encounter like this on NYE, we had a few drinks, danced and I still refused to kiss him. He ended up falling asleep drunk in my car. I confessed to tease him a but that I would’ve allowed him to have me that night if he weren’t so intoxicated. We fell asleep and I walked him out the next morning as he walked the walk of shame.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? After my last relationship, I vowed to remain celibate until marriage. With that decision in place, I was not going to be sexually active so I was not concerned about contraceptives. As for STI, I am fully informed but that’s not a favored topic to discuss with whom I had currently had in bed.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? My reason was to release some sexual desires, why did I decide on him? Simply since I knew he would be a great one with his build up of wanting to kiss me. Not only was it my hormones, but I was still sexually attracted to him despite our friendship. I wanted him, in the comfort of my own home.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? We had been drinking prior to the hookup, not every much. No drugs were involved.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt sexually satisfied as I went to work the next morning.
During the hours of dullness, I reminisced about the hook up and I was aroused every time I thought about it. It may or may not occur again, but know him well, so my concerns of ruining our friendship are put to rest. My feelings towards them are the same, it might be a little odd the next time I see him. But we will continue with our friendship.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I spoke about the hookup to my girlfriend that was at the party with us. Her response when I told her the morning  after is that she had an idea we would. I also told me other friend whom I’m be very close to about it and she sort of just listened to what I had to say. It was your average hookup, that didn’t result in sex.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? This was very a very consensual experience for him and I. He enjoyed it and wanted more. He texted me a few days later to see what I was up to.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I do not regret this hookup, we merely kissed, caressed each other’s bodies and spent the night together. We expressed that we had a good time so I am positive about this decision.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing about this hookup is that I could put my denial in urging to hook up with him to rest. The worst thing is that now our “friend” title is subject to doubt. It did not change my thoughts about casual sex, or sexuality. Casual sex will always be casual, and as for sexuality; I’ve always been sexually attracted to males. Thoughts about myself are altered, I became a very curious adolescent about my sexuality after the ex introduced me to all the sexual acts. After being introduced to these new sexual feelings I became very promiscuous. I’d hook up with guys at get together and parties while being under the influence of marijuana and alcohol. It carried away into my teens until the age of 18. I hooked up with a guy that I had previously had an encounter of oral sex with at a party a while back. We met again at a party and from there we went on a date and the second date we had sex. We formed a relationship and dated for almost two years. With being single for a little over a year, I am still hooking up with guys but am not allowing them to go beyond kissing. Oral sex is limited to none. I have earned respect for myself and after this Fourth of July encounter, I am capable of having a male in my room alone spend the night without having to oblige to engage in intercourse.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? You can have a a traditional hookup that does not involve engaging in intercourse. Take control of the situation. I also find this study very intriguing, I can’t wait to see what you will write! Best of luck!

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