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What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 51
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? United States
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Finance
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Bi-Curous
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 12
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 1

Exploring My Bi Side

How long ago did this hookup happen? Two weeks ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met a nice looking guy with a regular build and similar is height and size to me. We met at a bar that is a known hangout for gay and bisexual men.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I have been married for 28 years and my wife has had zero interest in sex for the last five years or so. Over the last few years, I began reading stories about men in similar positions who hookup with other men. I had a lot of anxiety about it and how it would work out, but I was finally able to overcome it.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We went to a nearby hotel where I had booked a room. At this point, all inhibitions were gone and as soon as we entered the room I removed his pants and got on my knees and began sucking his dick (this had been my fantasy). He encouraged me by calling me a “good cocksucker” and often pushing the back of my head down. It took him about five minutes to cum and I swallowed most of it. At that point, it got a little awkward because I was not sure what the next step was and I was not interested in anything romantic.

He decided to take a shower, which lasted about ten minutes. When he came out of the shower he was hard again and became more dominant and started commanding me what to do, which included sucking him and again and licking his anus. I also came during this time without being touched. He wanted to fuck me, but I was not ready for that at this point. After he came again he cleaned himself up and we said goodbye and exchanged numbers.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I was extremely satisfied with the experience and masturbate several times a day thinking about it. We have texted back and forth a little bit and are discussing me being a bottom. I also discovered that I enjoy being dominated and the idea of being his submissive bottom is extremely arousing at this point.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, I was feeling lonely, Submission / Relinquishing power

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I have not told anyone.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Being excited about sex again and finding out that sex with another man can be fulfilling.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The awkwardness on my part because it was my first time.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I am more open to the experience than I was before. Being in my 50’s, there was a lot of anxiety about meeting someone and what the expectations would be.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Done safely and with consent of your partner, I think that casual sex can actually enhance your relationship with your partner if s/he is not interested in sex at the same level you are.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Interesting

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!