What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 23
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? France
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Both working and studying
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Unsure / Questioning
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? I want to be loyal, but I also want to discover myself.
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 2
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Far From Home
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 year ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? My hookup was with a kind of short girl with glasses, but with oversized breasts for her size, though she was always trying to hide them. We were studying together for 2 years at the time of the hookup. We were best buddies and we occasionally flirted together, but it was nothing serious since she had a bf and I had a gf.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We both went to Canada for a study trip, her bf and my gf were still back in France. We had one free week before the beginning of the courses to go sightseeing by ourselves. Being left alone on the other side of the globe made us closer. It started with just holding hands while we were visiting places to feel “less alone”. But, then, something more interesting happened. In the middle of the week, in the evening, we were both at my place. It was supposed to be flat-sharing with Canadians, but they did not arrive before the weekend so I had the place for myself. We spent most of our time together. We had a long day and were watching tv on the sofa. She asked if she could take off her bra (she kept her shirt on) and then she asked for a back massage…
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Without bragging, I give great massages and she was really enjoying herself. While massaging, I was slowly getting closer and closer to her breasts, and finally, decided to start massaging them. She did not say anything, surprisingly, and it just got me REALLY hard. We were both enjoying the moment. I was teasing her nipples and kissing and biting her neck. I took off her shirt to finally get her breasts free. We were now facing each other on the sofa. I tried to kiss her lips but she refused, saying that “kissing was for her bf”. So I kissed her breasts and licked her nipples. (yes I am totally a boobs person) I then I went down and licked her out. It was like a dream coming true for both of us since while we flirted, we joked a lot about me showing her how great my “tongue skills” were. I never did anything sexual with anyone other than my gf (who was my first) before this event, so two things really marked me. First, her clit was smaller than my gf’s, and it was harder to spot it with my tongue, so I never focused like that while liking my gf. Second, her smell, and believe me when I say that: she smelled GOOD. It was like heaven. I’ll always remember her smell, it was the sweetest and sexiest smell I have ever experienced. But she then asked me to stop, and while I was wondering why this sudden break, she grabbed my dick and started giving me a handjob, and she was a pro. I came quickly, as all this situation was just too much excitement for me, and it all went on the floor.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We both felt guilty. The next day I told everything to my gf. My gf and I both cried a lot. I asked my gf to get revenge and cheat on me, but she refused saying that “it would only make things worse”. We love each other and loved each other at the time of the hookup. She gave me a second chance. My hookup broke up with her bf and went with a Canadian guy, but we were still best friends. I went back to France and she stayed in Canada, and it slowly killed our boundaries. Now, it’s completely cold between us, because one day, after a short messages exchange, I told her “I miss my best friend,” and she never responded. She then tried to casually talk with me days later so I told her to “get lost” and we never talked again together.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have, I was feeling lonely
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? A little bit
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? A little bit
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but didn’t give a ‘no’
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My gf, as I have already written, the day after the hookup, she gave me a second chance.
An internet friend (female lesbian) who told me that sometimes, shit happens, but if you caused it, you have to accept the consequences.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively negative
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? For the first time in my life, I had sexual intercourse with someone who was not my gf.
It was something completely new, and I discovered that everybody is different.
I realized a dream somewhat.
I have never been as excited again as I was this day.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I hurt my gf emotionally.
Now that I tasted it, the excitement of this bad thing, it won’t go away.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, I thought that sex was something you only do with the person you love. And it never came to my mind that I could ever want to have sex with anybody else than my gf.
But now I want it. I want to try everything. But I can’t…
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Very negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Help!
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Sex was a taboo subject in my life, and my first time was with my gf, but this hookup made me realize that sex could have been more in my life. Now I have fallen deeply in love and I regret that I did not try all the crazy stuff before. Now I am stuck: I dream about building a life with my gf and at the same time I dream about trying all that crazy stuff with boys/girls/both/many! If I had known, my life would have been happier now.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I am happy that people can discover that sex is not taboo, that it’s something worth discovering. It might help some people learning who they are and it could have made me discover who I really was.
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