What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 44
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Belgium
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Management
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (open)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Gay/lesbian
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
My First Casual Sex Experience
How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? A guy I met on a gay dating site. He was Norwegian working in NYC for an international organization.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We first chatted a bit on the dating site before hooking up at my place (working in NYC at the time and being away from my bf for a while). We decided to have a fun evening at my place.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We had one drink and kissed and had oral sex.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? As this was my very first date outside of my relationship, I really felt guilty.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My partner. He had more experience with hookups but at that time him hooking up for sex shook the relationship quite a bit.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? First experience
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Guilt towards my boyfriend
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? There is a difference between love and the person you share your life with on the one side and sex on the other
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I don’t have that much casual sex (contrary to my bf) but it now has a place in our lives.
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