What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 24
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? London
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
First Casual Sex Experience – Dealing with Regret
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 days ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We met on Tinder and had a long and amazingly chatty first date, ended with a great kiss and me seriously wanting to bring him back home (but I don’t EVER do that) so I didn’t.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I invited him over and I guess it just happened – one thing lead to another … I had never experienced a one night stand before and to be honest I was hoping he’d still want to date me after that.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Oral, Vaginal … I felt great during it and my partner was so kind and loving and delicate. It ended up in us kissing and him leaving shortly after as he had to go to work early. He told me next time it would be all about me as I hadn’t come.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Kind of horrible … I texted him saying thank you and couldn’t sleep til he answered 6 hours later as I was stressed he had fucked me and decided to never speak to me again. I was\ am hoping for things to eventually become serious but not sure it will happen. I feel disappointed he didn’t treat me more lovingly after but we never discussed what this meant for us …
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Intoxication, To feel more confident, I was feeling lonely, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My friends – they all told me it was cool but they were scared I’d regret it.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? I’m a bit emotional about it – I thought it would lead to something more serious / I was hoping it would but he’s answering pretty coldly to my texts. Not sure if I’m imagining it or not but it feels like he got what he wanted and has lost interest.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The closeness on the moment – giving into my wants.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Feeling emotionally needy
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I guess a little … Don’t think I’ll be doing it again as it’s too much emotional pressure.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think it’s great when everyone consents and no risks are taken in terms of STI transmission etc. I just feel like there’s still a lot of stigma around it for girls which is probably why we feel so guilty …
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think its amazing! It’s helping me feel less alone
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