by

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 37
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Sweden
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Therapist
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Previously very repressed sexually because of strong religious beliefs until my thirties
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 8
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

First Hookup Experience

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 days ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He is my age, handsome and fit, we got in contact on a dating Web page, only started chatting that day. I had begun by asking if he’d like to get acquainted, he replied cheekily with, “on what level?”. I said I could be open to something not so serious, despite actually looking for a long term thing in general. We realized we live rather close to each other and he suggested we’d go for a walk. I began a furious tidying of my messy apartment and changed into black lace underwear – feeling unreal and sexy.

While growing up, sex didn’t exist. My religious peers and friends took pride in not dating around and in not having sex before marriage. I didn’t date anyone, and only after I became an agnostic at the age of 32 did I find myself in a sexual encounter with a male friend. It was as unexpected as it was welcomed. Needless to say, it’s a long way for a good Christian virgin (even if she’s in her thirties) to say, “fuck this!” to the world she’s known, and go online and then hook up.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The guy and I met in a park close to my house. First I thought he had an annoying voice which made him less attractive. We went on the walk and he made me show the way in the woods. We talked about casual things and I felt confident. I asked if he’d like to come and see where I live.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? At my place, I took his hand and he turned towards me, we stood kissing as he stroked my body, and pulled off my shirt. I felt odd and exited at the normalcy of a stranger feeling me up. I pushed him towards my couch and straddled him. As he unhooked my bra and looked at my very large boobs and sighing with satisfaction, any remains of shyness evaporated. He asked if I like feeling a cock between them, and I suggested we’d go to my bedroom. On the bed, I crept up with my ass in the air and let him finger find my clit from behind, needless to say, my juices were flowing! He stuck his finger into my vagina and I bucked back as he finger fucked me. He slapped my ass lightly at this point, which I asked him to do more of later. Then, he straddled and boob fucked me while fingering my clit. I almost came at this point, but he turned me around and fucked me from behind. Eventually, I tried to get on top but he had gone a bit soft so it didn’t work out. He said that he’s got some performance issues in connection to condoms, which didn’t bother me because we all have our hang ups. After a bit, he came inside me (with the condom ofc) and then we relaxed on my bed.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He left soon after, there was no cuddling really, which I would have normally liked but think it was good since this is a casual thing. I felt good about it all! And also glad that I, despite my background and very extremely strict sexual norms in the past, could just hook up with a guy and feel absolutely NO shame or guilt in connection to it.

I’m hoping we’ll hook up again, I’ll probably text him next weekend, enquiring about meeting for round two. I’m also hoping this will be a chance for me to explore a little more kinky stuff, I just so enjoyed the hair pulling and occasional slaps on my ass!

As this is my first actual hook up, I’m also conscious about this being a learning opportunity for me about emotions and attachment. I’ve thought that ONS don’t work for me because I want and crave strong emotional connection. As far as the guy goes, there wasn’t an instant sexual attraction for me (perhaps because I’ve learned from early on to NOT feel those) but I got really turned on as soon as we got to snogging.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Boredom, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A close friend the next day. She rejoiced and cheered me on (she’s left a similar religious background and has a found her own way sexually)

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Having sex! Feeling so relaxed and enjoying myself. Loved having my hair pulled, getting a few slaps and being fucked from behind.

Also, I love to learn how different guys are in bed! And intrigued to find a sync with this guy.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Nothing close to negative at all!

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It was a milestone for being my first actual “let’s meet and have sex”-encounter.
It’s proof that I am, too, able to do outward actions, as the confident sexy woman I feel like on the inside.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? The fact that I HAD the hookup was actually more “exciting” than the hookup in it self. It was “just sex” in the most relaxed used of that phrase.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I’d love for people to know that there can be people out there who have very little experience of sex, and hooking up can be a great way to explore!

Let’s be open and gentle also to casual sex partners, we know so little of each other’s stories! Let’s receive each other as a gift!

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Love it.
Some years ago I stumbled across it, and reading stories here was an important building block as I created a new identity and take on the world!! I had not thought casual sex could be just fun and without at least one part feeling a little cheated. I also like the honesty I perceive.

Would LOVE some comments on my story, especially from people growing up to embrace religion!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!