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What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 32
What’s your race/ethnicity? East Asian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? San Francisco
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 3
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

First Hookup Experience(s)

How long ago did this hookup happen? Almost 2 months ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was a 23-year-old Korean girl on vacation in SF. We matched on Tinder, went for coffee, and hooked up from there. While in SF, we met up a week before she had to leave, and we went through a lot in a very short amount of time. She was packing a few extra pounds but, she was a nice girl, and I really enjoyed her company. Prior to her, I’ve only ever been with my ex. So this girl was a complete 180.

During the week, we hung out a lot and I took her to some romantic places where we hung out until 2-3 AM while making out in my car for hours. I put my hands on her small breasts, and even slipped my fingers into her hairy pussy. I was so horny both times that we made out. She stroked my cock a bit. But because we were in my car, she felt uncomfortable having sex. So I didn’t pressure her. I was also very inexperienced and felt helpless about how to move things forward. Also, I live with my parents, and she was staying with her grandpa, so we didn’t have many options in terms of places to hook up.

On her last night, I took her to my place and cooked her a nice meal along with my dad. It was spontaneous and crazy, but I was so comfortable being with her. Even though she was Korean, and my dad was Chinese and doesn’t speak much English, she was still able to communicate with him in Chinese because that’s what she’s studying in university. After dinner, I brought her to my room and I took a quick shower.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The first time we hooked up was in my room. There wasn’t planning per se, but we made out furiously the past few nights and we knew where it was leading to. I was a bit nervous because it had been nearly a year since I had sex, and I wasn’t sure how I would perform.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? The first time we hooked up was her last night in SF. I took her to my room, showered, then came back to find her on my bed. We made out a bit before I started undressing her. I slipped my fingers into her pussy and found that it was dripping wet. I got excited, but not hard. Her pussy was not as tight as I had experienced with my ex. It was a different experience and it didn’t feel as good. After a bit, she told me to lay down and relax because I was a bit tense. She licked my body from my neck and worked her way down to my cock. When she put it in her mouth, I was immediately in a state of bliss. In the 4 years I was with my ex, I was never given a proper blowjob. I was conditioned to believe that blowjobs are reserved for extremely special occasions, and each time would last, at most, a minute. This girl gave so willingly and it was a wonderful experience. She sucked on my cock for about a minute before she got on top of me and we began fucking. Her facial expression changed from the shy and playful demeanor to a more serious and sexy type. We fucked for few minutes with her on top before I spun her around and fucked her missionary. Due to many reasons, I got soft shortly after this. It wasn’t the greatest experience, and it was a bit embarrassing, but I still enjoyed it.

After that night, she went back to Korea. We continued to chat and facetime quite regularly. Soon I decided to make a trip to Korea to explore as well as to meet up this girl.

My first day in Korea we bought some dinner and chatted back at my Airbnb for some time. She lay on my bed, and I decided to take a shower to freshen up. When I came back to the room we started making out. Things escalated almost exactly as they had back in SF. We had a little bit of foreplay, followed by her going down on me, and then a short intercourse session before I went limp again. It’s embarrassing, but it is what it is. I figured I would have to go through this with someone before I can get over my ED, and I’m glad it was with her.

I was still very horny, and we ended up chatting naked on my bed for a while. About 30 minutes later, I had the courage to ask her to do something for me with her mouth. I hadn’t even washed off at this point but she didn’t hesitate to give me another amazing blowjob. After a few minutes, I started to feel guilty and asked if she wanted to stop. But luckily for me, she didn’t. She made me feel so good. Then, after another minute or two, I was ready to pop. I told her I was going to cum soon, but she still didn’t want to stop so I came in her mouth. She signaled to me she wanted to find a bathroom to clean her mouth out.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After this hookup, I was super happy, but I don’t know how she felt. She actually liked me a lot, but I knew that a relationship wouldn’t be possible. I had 3 weeks in Korea, and I wanted to spend more time with her pretty much as a FWB. But she wanted more and she started to pull away, because she knew that I didn’t like her as much as she liked me.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, I was feeling lonely, Making new friends, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A close friend. She was happy for me.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Experiencing what it’s like to be with a giver in terms of sex. My previous sexual relationship was relatively negative. I almost felt like I had to beg for sex for four years.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That I hurt her. She liked me a lot.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I have a relatively high sex drive. I’ve always dreamed about hooking up with someone, but have been too shy, inexperienced, and generally felt that sex should be had in a relationship. After being single, my feelings have changed quite a bit on sex. Sex is a wonderful thing that should be acceptable between two consenting adults. I’m way more open to it, but I feel like it’s hard to find someone with the same feelings.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think casual sex is great. But I think it is easier as a guy since we don’t need to worry about pregnancy. I’ve had sex with 3 people in my life and 2 of them were casual. I’m open to finding more, but I find it hard to find a person willing to do it with me.

The one thing I want to change about casual sex is the perception it has in society, especially in Asian cultures. Being naturally more attracted to Asian women, I tend to talk more to them. And generally, if I mention sex, it’s a big turnoff. In fact, I’ve had several matches on dating apps simply unmatch me by mentioning sex. I would consider myself a kind person. Just mentioning the word sex is like taboo.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Great website. I’m very new here and just wanted to share my experience. I hope it reaches out to more people (especially in Asia) to show that casual sex is not a bad thing!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!