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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 23
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Canada
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your occupation? Historian
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 3
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

First Hookup In A Car

How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 year ago (2017)

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? This was my first hookup. We met at a social event where alcohol was involved. My first thought was that he was a bit of a jerk and full of himself. I thought he would be a good fuck but not much else. I later discovered that while I was wrong about thinking there was nothing more to him, I was very right about everything else. While we didn’t hookup until two months later, I still felt attracted to him. We were both mutually flirting over those two months, but I still wasn’t sure how he felt. At this point, I had never had sex and was still unable to pick up on cues if someone liked me. As a I got to know him more, I discovered that there was a mutual interest in each other and I became really giggly.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I wanted to continue interacting with him, so I offered to help him with a research project he was assigned. Unfortunately, I didn’t discover any information, but I offered him other resources that could help. I sent him an update over email, asking if we could meet up next time he was in town. I was presenting at a conference that weekend in the city he grew up in. One thing led to another and I gave him my number. We were both going out for dinner with friends and agreed to meet up later. Honestly, I didn’t expect to hook up until I got the message “what were you thinking, did you want to hook up.” Honestly, I never thought I would ever be the type of person to hook up with someone or participate in casual sex. We met back at my hotel, and because I was rooming with a friend, I stepped out. He picked me up in his car and we went behind the hotel. I told him I really didn’t know what to do because it was my first time I had ever had sex.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We started making out in the front of his car. After a couple of minutes, we undressed and moved to the back. It was just vaginal sex, but it was amazing! Because it was such a new thing for me, I was super aware of everything happening. I enjoyed what he was doing and lived in the moment. He was super kind before and after our encounter, and overall, I was really happy. I was filled with not only endorphins and happy sex hormones, but just happiness in general. He was an amazing lover, and I loved every minute of it, he was gentle yet aggressive and willing to take charge. He respected my opinions and boundaries, which is super important to me. Afterward, we sat there talking about our interests, what we were doing, stuff like that. He was the one that ended it because he had to leave the city at 5 am. We both got dressed and he drove me around to the front. We made out one last time before I went in, and looking back now, I realized that was a goodbye kiss.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I talked with him for a week afterward, inquiring about his trip, but the next day I was very distracted. Probably not the best presentation I’ve ever done, but I don’t regret my decision. I was hoping for a relationship to evolve out of the hookup, but it didn’t work out. We really don’t talk now, but if we see each other in person we will have some great conversations. Now, I’m happy that we’re friends. I still really like him, but I’ve gotten past the expectation of us hopefully having a relationship.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told my dad and a couple of really good friends. One friend was disappointed because he was interested in me but realized that I didn’t reciprocate any feelings. In the end, I don’t really know how he felt, I wasn’t really paying attention. Another friend was super supportive and proud of me because it was a new experience for me. My dad was surprised but didn’t really care, he is indifferent about what I do unless I hurt myself.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I learned to love myself more and live in the moment. Also, I discovered that car sex isn’t actually that bad.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Getting attached. That was hard for me to realize; I wanted more and he didn’t. I don’t regret what I did, but there were more emotions involved than I really cared for.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? A little bit. All of my sexual experiences to date have been casual and I love it. I find I have become more confident with myself and have strengthened my beliefs as a result. Casual sex is a great way to find out who you are. My experience has made me more curious about sex and everything related to it.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I love casual sex and recommend it for everyone. It is a good way to discover yourself and loosen up. What it has made me realize is how much I hate the social stigmas surrounding sex and sexuality, and the gendered expectations we all face. I have strengthened my beliefs about gender equality, human equality, and reproductive rights. I have become more aware of what society expects and I have actively gone out of my way to challenge it.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I really love what this project is trying to accomplish, not just to gather research information, but also by trying to break down the stigma associated with casual sex in an environment that is overall supportive.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!