What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? America
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Switch, Non-monogamous
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 13
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 1 although I can’t find it 🙁
First One-On-One Lesbian Experience
How long ago did this hookup happen? Last night
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? J is 5 years older than me, kind, and pretty – slightly taller (I’m tall anyway at 5’9), athletic frame and in great shape, brown hair, pretty eyes. She’s more into women now (like 99% into women) and has more experience than I do. She’s also just had her nipples pierced which I find incredibly hot. I’ve toyed with the idea of having mine done but I’m still on the fence. Our breasts are about the same size (roughly somewhere between A and B cups), so seeing hers and how good they look has made me consider it again. They’re a bit unexpected on her because she’s laid-back; I just wouldn’t have guessed she’d do something like that. We matched on tinder a couple weeks ago and met last weekend for dinner and then ice cream, which turned into having good conversations on my couch until about 1 AM. I wanted to make a move, but as I’ve never been with a woman like this before, I was scared to death so I didn’t. She didn’t make any moves either, so it ended without a kiss/hug. I was confused and wasn’t sure we’d see each other again, but we both expressed interest to meet again soon. She’s the first girl I’ve hooked up with on my own – I’ve had a foursome with two men and a woman before. I really enjoy her company and our conversations. She sort of makes me feel important, like when we’re together, it’s just us and we have each other’s full attention, which is nice because my experience with men (more often than not) is that they just want to fuck and couldn’t care less about who they’re fucking. That’s part of the reason I’m expressing more interest in women, but I digress. I’ve always known I’m bisexual, though.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We had dinner first – yummy, handmade pizza at a restaurant we both like. We flirted and talked about hooking up via text before it actually happened. We discussed likes and dislikes and I expressed to her that I like to be submissive most of the time and very much enjoy both mutual and being on the receiving end of choking, slapping, etc. I also told her that that’s my experience with men and that I feel I could be more of a switch with women, and she said she was definitely down to experiment with that. She said her dom/sub traits vary depending on who she’s with, which intrigued and excited me.
So the plan was dinner, movie at the movie theater, then hook up at her place. Dinner and the movie were pretty platonic; I considered making a move and holding hands in the movie, but I chickened out. After the movie, we went to her place.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We sat on the bed for a while, talking and half-watching Black Mirror on Netflix (10/10 if you haven’t seen it). We got through a whole episode and one of us finally steered the conversation to be somewhat sexual (I think it was me because I was horny af). She then told me that she has difficulty making the first move because 1) she’s never really 100% positive if someone wants it and doesn’t want to assume and 2) she wants it to be totally consensual. It was sweet, and that element of care was really nice; very different from my experience with men who generally don’t give a shit. So there was about 15 seconds of silence after that (because, as I’m sure you’ve picked up on by now, I have difficulty making a move as well), and then I finally asked, “Would it make you feel better if I said I fully consent?” And she said yes and started kissing me. Then the fun began… She got on top of me, kissing me and just feeling my body. She helped me take my dress off and took her shirt off and had to help me get her bra off. She kissed my neck and nipples and worked her way down. She removed my panties and then time slowed down for a minute as she lowered down to kiss and lick around my pussy. She teased me with this, though, stopping to come back up and kiss me. I protested and she laughed. She went back down and finally licked me and it wasn’t as good as I had hoped since she’s experienced with women. The first time is rarely good, though; it takes time to learn what your partner likes. I let it go on for a few minutes and stopped her and said I was really sensitive, which I was. It was one of those times when you’re just so turned on by everything but for some reason you’re ultra-sensitive so even the gentlest tongue flick feels like being hit with a hammer. She came back up to kiss me and I could taste myself – always a turn-on. I wanted so badly to go down on her so she took off her shorts and underwear and I moved down, flicked her nipples with my tongue (her piercings are fresh, so I was afraid to be too rough and hurt her) and she moaned a little which turned me on. I sort of just did what I like; I first kissed around, gently bit her inner thighs, and licked near her pussy. Before I fully licked her, I had a thought of “Shit, what if I don’t like this!?” But that thought quickly dissipated as I started licking her and she moaned for me. I slowly licked from her opening up to her clit and gently flicked my tongue up and down against it. The feeling of her wetness and warmth combined with the realization of what I was doing was so fucking hot. It made me wet and I moaned a bit as I licked her, too. I mostly licked her clit in that way, circled it, and gently sucked it a few times. I was only down there for a few minutes, like less than 5, when I could feel her start to buck her hips and her moans got louder. I had a feeling she was about to come, so I didn’t stop licking her clit. I was right, and she came shortly after. She moaned and convulsed a little, as women do when they come and surrender to that incredible bliss. I love to hear a woman moan, and knowing that I had just brought her to orgasm had my clit throbbing. I kept licking until she told me to stop, even objecting then and saying “But I like it!” She pulled me to her and kissed me, high on endorphins, and I think she was about to suggest I rub against her, but I excused myself and went to the bathroom.
When I came out, she wasn’t on the bed and almost scared me as she came up to me because I didn’t expect it. She kissed me, choked me the perfect amount, and backed me up against the door frame. She held me there as she continued to choke and kiss me and explore my body with her hands. She’s a great kisser, and I ran my hands over her body as well. We ended up back on the bed with her on top, kissing and choking me again. She started to rub her thigh against me so I could grind on it, and I asked if we could trib and she agreed and stayed on top. I wanted it so bad because that’s what made me come multiple times when I hooked up with the girl during the foursome, so I thought it would definitely make me come. But nope. We tried with her on top first, and then I got on top so I could be in control. It was nice, but not all that I dreamed it would be. When I realized I wasn’t going to come, I stopped and she asked how I felt about face-sitting. I told her I had done it a couple of times, but I’m always afraid I’m going to drown/suffocate the other person. We tried it, but it didn’t work either. It felt better this way, though – she stayed more on my clit which is what I like. It ultimately wasn’t working for me, so I told her and then shifted off of her face and sat next to her.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? It ended when I moved off her face because there was no way I was going to come, which was/is really fucking frustrating. I’m pretty sure I have performance anxiety or some bullshit because it’s often really hard for me to come with a partner. We talked for a bit, and she was understanding and kind and shared that she previously struggled with this for a long time as well, which made me feel better. I told her that I had brought my vibrator, but it was in my car and we rode together in hers to her place. Honestly, I think I could’ve had an orgasm if I had used my vibrator. Next time I will be sure to have it on my person! I also definitely want to fuck her and have her fuck me with a strap-on in the future.
I’m not sure where things will lead with her. I’m pretty sure my parents would be stunned and disgusted if they knew (I live in the South, obviously a very conservative part of the country), and I wouldn’t be surprised if they did something over the top like kick me out. I’m waiting to move out which hopefully will happen soon and then maybe I’ll tell come out to them.
The challenge now will be for me to overcome my issue and let myself enjoy what’s happening. When I got home, I made myself come with my vibrator in only a few minutes, so it wasn’t a total loss.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Submission / Relinquishing power
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but didn’t give a ‘no’
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My two closest friends, a mostly heterosexual male who I’ve known for about 2.5 years and had the foursome with, and a bisexual female friend (she’s never been with a woman) I’ve known for almost as long. He was ecstatic for me and found it incredibly hot (of course – watching me and the other girl trib during our foursome was what made him come). He half-joked that I should’ve facetimed him because he wanted to watch, and it crossed my mind to ask her if I could film it at least (because it would be good material to re-watch later when I’m masturbating, and he and I previously had an open relationship of sorts so it would be hot to share with him), but I figured that was a bit too voyeuristic/out there for our first time. My female friend was glad for me; I told her I have A1 head-giving skills when it comes to both women and men so I’ve got that going for me, and she laughed.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I got to hook up with a woman which is something I’ve wanted so bad for as long as I can remember! Also the fact that I, an inexperienced woman, made an experienced lesbian come in like 3.5 minutes. Definitely an ego-boost.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That I couldn’t come and didn’t have my vibrator.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I think we’re always evolving and that gender is a social construct, so yes. I’m still unpacking it, though. I’m also thinking more about my performance anxiety problem and how I can overcome it.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? We’ve already made plans for this coming weekend, so I’m excited to try again – this time with my vibrator. The first time is always somewhat awkward, so I think it’ll get better from here.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I would love to see it be more accepted in society, especially in terms of non-heteronormative and non-monogamous.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s great in general. I like the variety of stories and that nothing is considered taboo.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!