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What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 62
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Sweden
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Professor
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (open)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 100
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 1

First Paid Sex

How long ago did this hookup happen? 28

What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? Paid sex

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? See below.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? A few years before this encounter, I had been to Denmark to visit friends of my family. The newspaper there had about two pages of advertisements for “massage”. Of course I understood that it was advertisements for the service of prostitutes. This teased my curiosity and during my military service, one of the boys informed me that he had been to Thailand quite often as his sister was working there and he had sex with many prostitutes there.

During the years, I became more and more tempted to visit a prostitute for sex. However, I had not dared to take the plunge. I actually had dared to phone a Danish prostitute once during a visit to Denmark, but she had hung up the telephone when she heard that I was speaking Swedish.

This time, I made a really hard decision that it should be my first time. The entrance to my first choice of “clinic” (the term for small brothels in Denmark) turned out to be very public so I did not dare. I went to another one which had a much more hidden entrance. I looked very carefully around so no one could se me and snuck up to the door of the clinic.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? A beautiful black woman, about 30 years old, opened the door and let me in. She asked what she could help me with and I said that I wanted to have Danish massage (the term for vaginal intercourse). She probably recognized that I was inexperienced and asked if I was nervous, to which I had to admit I was and money was exchanged.

Anyway, we undressed, and she started to caress my penis and sucked it to make me hard. I do not remember clearly, but I think the condom was put on before the oral sex. Once I got hard enough, she put herself into doggy position and invited me to fuck her from behind. Quite soon, I had my orgasm. After we cleaned up, I put my clothes on, and before leaving, I got a hug and she told me that I was welcome back.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Immediately after I was satisfied that I finally dared to visit a prostitute. Since my first encounter with a prostitute I have had paid maybe 300 – 400 times (if sugarbabies count) for some two or three encounters with prostitutes. After the first one, I was very cautious. I snuck my way to a brothel and took steps so that no one should be able to see me. Nowadays I do not sneak my way to a brothel, but go straight up to the door and I am not nervous anymore.

The only thing I regret is that I did not start to visit prostitutes earlier. I could have evaded many boring evenings in hotel rooms when traveling and I have had some of my most satisfactory and pleasurable sex experiences with prostitutes.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? What I finally did take the plunge and started to visit prostitutes for casual sex.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Not this actual hookup, but in countries like Sweden where it is illegal to buy sex from a prostitute, paid encounters require much more planning ahead. Sometimes I am not that horny when it comes to the pre-planned meeting and when I am horny it could be difficult to find a girl on such short notice.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I travel rather much in my work. I am not that much for drinking in a hotel bar or dancing. I think paying a prostitute for sex is a much more honest way of getting casual sex than lying to a woman that I love her or that she is the most beautiful lady in the world to get inside her trousers. I know of women that I think I could rather easily seduce, but there things could be complicated afterwards and I might hurt her because she wants more than just sex.

I have learned know a few prostitutes more personally and the common picture of them is simply not true. One is educated as a nurse and she says it is much more dirty to work as a nurse than to work as an escort. The only reason she has stopped escorting is the attitudes of society.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think society should be more open to casual sex. Sex makes people feel good. The attitude towards paid sex should also change in my opinion.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I hope you will be able to change society’s attitudes towards casual sex.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!