What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 25
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Phoenix, Arizona
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Manager
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 12
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
First Time Casual Sex – Tired of Relationships
How long ago did this hookup happen? A few days ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We met at a college party a few years back. We were on a winning beer pong team. At the time, I only ever stayed in romantic relationships and he was too extroverted and handsome for me to believe he would want one. So we exchanged numbers but I dated someone else a week later. Two years later- a week ago, he messaged me and we decided to meet up and catch up with each other. We both felt attracted but neither of us
Two years later, he messaged me and we decided to meet up and catch up with each other. We both felt attracted but neither of us have time to contribute to a real relationship right now, and we were very honest with each other about that but also the fact that we haven’t had sex in a long time.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? After we solidified that we can’t do a relationship, we agreed to be friends with benefits, (I needed a night to think it over because I was used to at least attempting a relationship when having sex with someone.) I am the one that brought up the subject of this situation and he very excitedly agreed, we have both been attracted to each other for a while.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He came over to my house, I gave him a tour while feeling so nervous and awkward because I had never been this casual with sex before. We started kissing and my nervousness eventually started to go away. He pulled off my dress- in black underwear and heels, I still had to stand on my tip toes to kiss him so he picked me up and then threw me on the couch. He went down on me for an impressive amount of time so when he finally stood up and undressed himself, I gave him a blowjob. He put on a condom and I felt nervous because I hadn’t had anyone as big as him before, but he felt amazing. He flipped me over for doggie style and that’s when I dragged him to my room and took charge until we both came actually around the same time.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We laid there with each other and talked for a while. He had stuff for his job to do at home so he left not long later. I kind of felt like it lacked the excitement and passion I was used to but I also understand it was our first time, so maybe the sexual tension will build better the next time we try.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, To cheer myself up, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told my close friends and they understood my reasons, as I talked about it with them before when debating to do this.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was a nice stress relief.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? It felt a little robotic almost.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? A little bit. I think I am still debating on whether this is for me or not.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I wish the stigma wasn’t so bad honestly. I also wish more people were open and honest about what they want, so I know if I should consider casual sex with someone instead of being led on until the guy and I eventually have sex, only to have him finally say he doesn’t want a relationship. I think casual sex in this instance was convenient for both of us and I can’t really say that I regret it.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think this is a great idea.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!