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What’s your gender? Woman
What’s your race/ethnicity? Black
What continent do you live on? Europe
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Admin
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20 give or take
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2

First Time With A Girl

How long ago did this hookup happen? 7 months

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She, I’ll call her Lè, was a fair-skinned black woman with a pretty smile. I was staying at her house whilst on holiday due to a mutual friend connecting me to her husband who let me stay at their house for a week. I met her at the house I was staying in on vacation. Lè seemed nice, nice enough to host me at their house!

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It started after a party in the house we’d thrown that night. I hadn’t even looked at her like that. Everyone had left the party or gone to bed. It was just her and I left drinking the remaining alcohol. As I was getting ready to go to bed, she instigated it. She kissed me. I said I couldn’t do it because I wasn’t into girls and her husband (my host) was sleeping. I wasn’t sure I was into it, to be honest, but she said she thought I was really hot and was super into me. I went with the flow and I was kind of sure what to do

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We laid down on the floor and we were making out. I’d never done anything with a woman. I explored her body as we kissed. I got really relaxed as we eased into it all. I kissed her back with more passion, she slid her hands down my trousers. I was so turned on and I really let my hair down. It was amazing! I couldn’t believe I was hooking up with a girl and enjoying it. I told her to take her panties off so I could go down on her. She said she hadn’t shaved and I said I didn’t care! I went down on her, it was interesting. I hoped I was doing it right. She brought my face up and told me she wanted us to rub our pussies together. When we did, it was amazing, we tribbed until we both came! I fell asleep on the floor. She went to bed with her husband.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt weird about it the next day because I was a guest in the home. I woke up and went for a long walk to avoid her that day. I made lunch plans with a friend in the area so I could stay out of the house as long as possible. When I eventually went back to the house she asked me if I’d told anyone and asked me if I wanted to try it again. I said I didn’t want to try again because I felt guilty. I told her I’d leave the house and find alternative accommodation if she didn’t want me there anymore. She said it was fine for me to stay.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None

What were your motives for this hookup? Learning new things, experimenting, To feel better about myself, Peer pressure, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, I didn’t want it but was unable to stop it

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? The sneakiness of it all. I felt I was betraying someone (her husband) who had been kind to me and if anyone had found out it would have been a disaster

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was fun in the end. Ticked it off the ‘sex bucket list’ I guess

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I think casual sex is great fun and I really enjoy partaking. I would like to try having sex with a girl again when soberer. I wanna feel more carefree and explore my sexuality in that way

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Causal sex is great. I’ve not been in a relationship so casual sex has been a fun way to satisfy my sexual needs. I’ve met some great sexual partners. Explored my sexuality and different levels of intimacy which has been great. In society, people need to stop worrying about what other people are doing with their sexual organs

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Great project!!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!