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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 27
What’s your race/ethnicity? Southeast Asian
What continent do you live on? Australia
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 2
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 3

First Uni Hookup

How long ago did this hookup happen? 5 years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? This was back in March 2011, when I was at uni. He was exactly a year younger than me (Caucasian Kiwi). We met at tutoring at high school and went to the same uni. One night on Facebook he decided to contact me and chat. He’d chat/flirt occasionally on Facebook. During that time we’d bump into each other and chat. He asked me out and seeing that was with my first guy, I decided to give it a go.That went on for a semester and then I had a uni job over the holiday and then saw him once during that time. Being new to this kind of stuff, I wasn’t sure whether it was real or not.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We took an elective and saw each other and decided to sit next to each other. He had a uni party to go to and so he was dressed nicely. We were sitting at the back of the lecture room and then he grabbed my hand and rubbed it against his dick. As it was my first time experiencing anything of this nature, I was nervous and he told me to relax. His dick was slowly getting hard. We communicated by writing down thoughts onto a notepad. Then after the lecture finished, we decided to head out to a quiet spot at the back of one of the engineering buildings.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He found a spot and then we sat on a bench. Then he commented on my appearance that day on my rather short dress (lucky I had tights on). We then kissed a bit and then I wanted to lie down on his lap. Then next moment I could feel his hand down my boob and he started caressing it. Then after a while we stood up and I proceeded to put my hands down his pants. Seeing as I was new to it, I decided to take it slow. My hands slowly got there and I could hear his moans. Next moment his hands rubbed my shoulders and then he had one hand down my pants and the other touching my boob. I could feel him fingering down there and a kiss to the boob. After that, his hands grabbed my ass and mimicked thrusting.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We went our separate ways to his party and me back home. I felt that I’ve gained a new experience in anything of that nature. We saw each other at the same class and wrote notes and said ‘kept thinking’ about it and wanted to do it again. I said ok and that time he was already hard and continued the same thing. Then we sat down and talked whether we’d take it further or not as he wanted “a relationship.” When I grilled him about the future, he wasn’t interested. That’s where I started to feel a sense of confusion but still went with it. My gut says he’s not worth it but I continued to deny it.

Later on, he wanted to have oral sex in the men’s bathroom but I bailed/ freaked out that moment. Then towards the end of the term, he emailed me back saying that we shouldn’t see each other anymore. That caused me to become numb/confused throughout the uni winter holidays. Luckily, my cousins came to visit and that really took my mind off him.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened

What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Everyone else was/is doing it, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? I’m not sure / I don’t know

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I did mention that I was “dating that guy” but not revealing the true extent as I didn’t understand the whole dating/hookup stuff.

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? At that stage because I was naive during that experience, I assumed he wasn’t interested in me anymore after dumping me. Now as I’m older and reflected this experience, I understood what I went through and why I felt that emotion after jetting off.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Experiencing anything of this nature and being with a guy.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Expecting something totally different with what i had in mind. Being lead-on. He sent mixed messages to me.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Likewise being naive at that time, I thought this experience would lead into something romantic. At that stage I wanted a relationship but this didn’t deliver. Didn’t really fully understand the term casual sex at that time.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? After that experience, I went on a one-off date with my close friends who’d just ended dating someone and at the end of the night it was a mess and went back with being friends. After feeling hurt from that experience, I’ve decided to take myself off into relationships/dating scene at this stage and having put so much emotional effort from that experience was another reason to this.

Since that experience, I’ve had one guy from my old workplace ask me out but that stage I wasn’t mentally and emotionally ready to pursue (and still to this stage), plus I had no chemistry and no attraction to him. Another one was at uni but at earlier days but denied saying I wasn’t interested.

I’ve posted stories (not published yet) about my recent hookup/s and so far that one has been a more positive than compared to this.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I wish I’d done more research before having this experience. Other than that, advice is to be mindful who you hookup with. Keeping your emotions in check and not being lead on like I did with this one would be another useful advice.

Casual sex is something I’m slowly opening up to, as I don’t want to be involved with any commitment at that stage. Coming from a family culture where this is frowned upon, I decided to keep these experiences to myself and not share them. Being a Cancerian and hooking up with that fellow Cancerian really decided that I’d rather hookup with other star signs instead. Even though reading the general gist of Cancerian Women aren’t into this sort of thing is suprising as it’s been different with me.

Do this for you only and not for anyone else.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Great, keep it up.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!