by Vanessa

Gender: Female
Age: 20
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Current location: Australia
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Occupation: Student
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: Jewish
How religious are you? Somewhat
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Forced To Give Head For 40 Minutes

How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 days ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Just a friend (who got the wrong impression)

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met him through mutual friends and this semester he’s also in the same tutorial as me for one of my classes. I thought he had a cute smile but never really thought much else. Always treated him in a friendly and kind manner and this clearly gave him the impression that I was interested in him. Our mutual friends organised a couple of group dates and I went along to give it a shot but never really got fully into it.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? This happened friday night, I was coming back from an event late at night and had a lot to drink when my friend suggested we all go over to this guy’s house for a movie night. I said I couldn’t drive because I had been drinking and they agreed to pick me up and drop me off again. We watched a couple of movies and then without telling me, my friends left and left me with this guy alone in his house!

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He grabbed my by the waist and made it pretty clear what his intentions were. It became obvious he wasn’t going to let me leave without getting what he wanted, so by that stage, I decided to just get it over with so I could go home. He tried to put his hand down my pants and I pushed him off, making up some excuse about how I was on my period, when really, I just didn’t want it from him.

I gave him oral for at least 30 minutes and he just could not cum! My jaw was locking, I was on the verge of vomiting, it was 2:30am and I was exhausted and he was insisting that I continue! Another 10 minutes went past and he finally says to me “I’m just way too tired and I’ve had a few drinks so I physically can’t cum for you, my bad, I should have told you”….I was pissed because before he said this, he made me feel as though it was my fault for not being able to get him over the line. He kept huffing and puffing and making it seem like he expected more from me. I told him off and said it’s unusual because i’ve done this plenty of times and I’ve never had this problem, so clearly it’s not me, it’s him! I was mad because he knew all along that he was tired and had been drinking so the chances of him being able to cum were already low, but he basically forced me to go on for 40 minutes anyway!!

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? Neither of us did.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? No discussion :/

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I saw it as the only way for me to be able to go home without causing drama or possibly putting myself in an even worse situation. Haven’t known him for that long so don’t know what his temper is like or how he would have reacted.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? We had been drinking, not together but separately before the “incident.”

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I left, slammed the door and got into a taxi in tears. I wasn’t upset that he didn’t cum, to be honest I was relieved because he probably would have expected me to swallow or god knows what, which is something I hadn’t agreed to do.
I was upset because 1. I had been left alone with him by my “friends” and 2. He made no attempt to try to talk to me or start a conversation, he just immediately unzipped his pants and gave me a look. He was just expecting me to do what he wanted and because I felt like I had no escape, I really felt forced to go along with it.

He sent me a message apologising and saying he felt bad. It’s going to be awkward now seeing him in class but I definitely need to make it clear that it won’t happen again and that I’m not interested at all!

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one, it’s not something I want to really tell people because it’s humiliating for me and degrading.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? I felt completely pressured into it. I guess the fact that I participated and didn’t say the word “no” meant that it was consensual, but then again, if he hadn’t pressured me into doing it, I wouldn’t have volunteered to do it

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Yes.
I’m a 20 year old woman and I know better. I don’t know what happened that night but I should have showed enough self-respect and self-worth to not be afraid of saying no. It’s my body, it’s my mouth, and the way he treated me was extremely disappointing.
I’m disappointed in him as a person and as a man but also in myself.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Literally nothing about the actual hookup was good. I enjoyed watching the movie though!

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Very negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? I’m also mad at my friends for having left me there. I have no doubt now that they knew the “plan” all along and basically facilitated it. They provided him with the opportunity to take advantage of me and that’s something i’m not sure i’ll be able to forget!

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