Current location: Germany
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Relationship status: Married
Religious affiliation: Honesty is important
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 4
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Forest Fantasy For Nice People
How long ago did this hookup happen? In the last month
How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Short fling
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I was enchanted by the beech wood. I was on a traditional group hike in the woods with lots of alcohol. At the end I was lost in the dark with 2 drunk guys, one of whom, Thomas, came on to me really heavily. It was easy to resist him out of principle, except after he kissed the side of my head so tenderly, I barely kissed his lips back. Once I wanted be friendly in an apologetic way, since I had rejected him so often, I put my arm around his waist, but he came back strategically touching my nipple and the tip of my pussy through my clothes. I saw him shortly in the group with his wife and small child afterward, only to be certain his tall angular features were indeed very attractive. Later I decided, according to my feelings that I would meet Thomas for sex. I have been with my husband for 10 years and actually never thought of anyone else in that way.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Thomas managed to find my work Email address, I was unsuccessful at finding him through the emails from friends of friends leading to this event. After a week of exchanging information in an intensive way, I told Thomas I wanted to meet. He seemed very kind and innocent. We exchanged photos, and he told me personal things about his childhood and his desire to join me on my beautiful vacations. He had thereby crossed some distinct boundaries I would have set for meeting only for sex and then returning unscathed to our own families afterwards. We booked 2 nights in a hotel in a city feasibly located between our 850 km distance and had to wait 3 weeks since our first meeting. The sexiest information we exchanged was that my panties were wet once when waking and that he couldn’t stand up in a public waiting room while thinking about this.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We met in a restaurant. I was fascinated that someone I barely knew could be so attractive. We talked about all the serious things which characterized all our interactions, and I couldn’t read in his gaze if he wanted me like I wanted him and tried to tell him, despite the conversation. We walked around the block afterwards and he began to kiss me. It was a great energy. In a few steps we were back in the hotel getting undressed. The sex was amazing and I was enthralled to discover someone new and different. I could relax well during the intimate exchange. We slept little and Thomas was tired. After the first night Thomas mentioned he feels guilty towards his family and we went to a park to sit in the sun. We talked for hours about our lives and important things. Thomas seemed uncomfortable expressing affection or flirting, maybe in public. Despite the seriousness of our interactions we still had more great sex. After dinner (which I could barely eat because of my guilty stomach) Thomas became ill. It got worse during the night until he began to panic that our affair would go back to his wife. I think his panic influenced his sickness. From 4 am, I was ready to leave the hotel immediately, at 6am, i convinced him not to take an ambulance but to let me drive him to the hospital. I felt so incapable to comfort him and he seemed to make everything harder trying to hide the worst from me. I felt like an inconvenient stranger which seemed so wrong having shared both physically and emotionally intimate experiences.
Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I come 2-3 times usually each time when I have sex, but with different intensity. In this case I was not screaming. My partner did not come the first time, we just had nice sex forever which I liked, and the other 4 times it was not a problem.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Condoms. he didnt even bring them with!!
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was recently pregnant (which my husband and i want…but had a miscarriage) and in that moment had this sudden panic that I was becoming old and confined and had barely any sexual experience. I knew I could have an affair when I hate myself and have no feelings, but I wanted to see if it could be something positive to arrouse interest and feelings in my sex life. I have no experience having sex with people I barely know.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? A bit of alcohol, of course at the beginning.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Thomas has made some important decisions for his life with his family. I feel weird having motivated him like that. I think we had too similarly difficult childhoods to be hot and flirty. I like the memories of the sex, but the panic of the illness and my own guilty feelings makes me wonder if it is worth it. I always valued honesty with my husband the most and I have ruined that. In general it improved the sex with my husband and I don’t think my attachment hormones will stand in the way of continuing in my normal life. In terms of Thomas, I think he is beautiful and will always have a happy memory of him both because of the sex and the way he thinks about life.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one. It would be impossible.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? yes.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No, but i would tell people in similar situations to think very carefully first. I think Thomas might have regretted it in the end due to his sickness.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Sex was the best, enjoying someone on this level of physical attraction. The worst was the psychological affects of being nice people. Actually we believe too strongly we shouldn’t do things like that and our bodies tell us even if we try to ignore such thoughts. Maybe I should pursue an open relationship with my husband, but further similar adventures seem unlikely and unneccessary. If I were to do it again, I would prefer someone who could decide not to talk about such meaningful and difficult things, but I admit it is probably mostly my fault.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? The whole experience was really complicated and confusing and hard to let go.
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