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What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 39
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Austin
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Event Organizer
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Very
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 60
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Former Youth Group Student

How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 1/2 years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (open)

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? 11 years prior, N had been a student in the Jr. High youth ministry I led at a small Baptist church. At the time I had no sexual thoughts about her whatsoever. She was just a cool, talkative, friendly kid. Left that church and lost touch with her for about a decade, until reconnecting on social media a few years ago, by which time she was a beautiful young woman in her early-20s trying to make her way as an actress/bartender in NYC. Gorgeous caramel skin and long black hair (part Egyptian, part Italian), very short with amazing curves and enormous breasts. And still as bubbly and outgoing as ever.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was in NYC for a conference when she messaged that I should stop by the bar where she worked to say hi while I was in town. I did, and we spent that first night just drinking and catching up. The attraction was obvious, but we only made out for a bit on some subway steps that night before she sent me back to my hotel. The next day, however, she texted me a pic of her ass in a short little school skirt with an invitation to come over to her place that night. We had already talked about how turned on we were by the prospect of living out the taboo fantasy of a former pastor hooking up with a former student (despite the fact that by now we were both consenting adults). We were both eager to make the fantasy a reality.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? When I arrived at her place, she offered me a drink and went to change into the schoolgirl skirt. We attempted some brief role-play involving some light spanking, but I could hardly keep my hands off her, and soon I had her down on the bed, skirt up around her waist, as I devoured her delicious pussy. We spent the next four hours, on into the wee hours of the morning, licking, sucking, and fucking in every position imaginable. I can be quite primal in bed sometimes and I don’t think she was expecting that. At one point in the night she told me that she had thought she would be the one seducing me (i.e. a hot young New York actress corrupting her buttoned-up former pastor), but was completely surprised to, instead, find herself in the submissive role, nearly overwhelmed (in a good way) by my sexual energy. Either way, the sex was fantastic! The highlight was when, after we were already 2 or 3 rounds in, she consented not just to let me fuck her bareback (I’m sterile and had just recently gotten clean STD test results), but to actually also be the first man to ever cum inside her without a condom on. I was honored to be her “first” (so to speak) and it felt amazing!

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I had to catch an early flight home, so I kissed her goodbye and left her there naked in her bed. I think we were both high/glowing with the aftermath of a fulfilled fantasy. We exchanged a few friendly/flirty texts for the next day or two, but there was no confusion on either of our parts that this was just a one-time thing, with no expectations or emotional attachments. She did invite me to hit her up again next time I was in NYC, but so far I haven’t had an opportunity to go back. We are simply back to be friendly acquaintances on social media.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, Condoms, Sterilization, Discussed STI testing history, I don’t know if my partner was on any (other) method

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s)

How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told my then-girlfriend as soon as I got home. She was very happy for me. We had had an open relationship from the beginning and she enjoyed hearing about my sexual escapades. She knew that I had long had the fantasy of fucking a much younger woman, and the fact that it was a former student made it that much hotter both for me and for her to hear about.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Fulfilling the fantasy of hooking-up with a much younger woman (she was 23, I was 37), AND especially getting to enjoy the “taboo” of a former youth pastor hooking up with a former student. Plus the sex was incredible!

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Nothing really. It was all pretty great.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It certainly increased my self-confidence knowing that I am in fact desirable enough to attract a much younger woman. But I was already very open to causal sex and casual encounters, and that stayed true afterwards, so no change there.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Nope

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I spent the first 33 years of my life very sexually repressed and having sex only within the context of committed (mostly married) relationships. I deeply regret that and I think that negative, shame-filled attitude toward sex did a lot of damage to my psyche and to my former marriage. I have found a great deal of liberation, personal growth, and emotional health since opening up my view of sex and embracing the inherent goodness of it, whether casual or otherwise.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Great idea! Casual sex needs to become less stigmatized in our society.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!