What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 50
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA, Urbana, IL
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Education
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (open)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? consensually non-monogamous, swinger
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 16 or 17
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? none
Foursome I Was Uncertain About
How long ago did this hookup happen? 9 months
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Group sex
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? It was my wife and me. She’s a year younger than I, brunette, very smart, shapely, extremely attractive and sex-hungry. We’ve been consensually nonmonogamous for about five years, not interested in polyamory (we satisfy each other emotionally) but we sure love having sex with other people! We experience compersion when we see each other having passionate sex with others and also when we hear of it. My wife has had about twice as many sex partners as I’ve had, almost all for both of us in the past five years after 20 years of marriage. Once we discovered that CNM works for us, we’ve been very eager indeed.
The other couple this night: “Mike” is early forties, average looking (“nice eyes” according to my wife); “Becky” is late twenties, very bright, gorgeous, blonde, slim but shapely with pretty eyes and a playful, flirting personality.
We know them because Mike and my wife met on Ok Cupid and had been dating for a year or two for sex, once a month or so. They suggested meeting for dinner to get acquainted since we keep our nonmonogamy private and crave opportunities to talk with like-minded couples. We hit it off but nothing happened. I noticed that Becky was dressed for showing off: tight, shiny leather pants and a snug, low-cut top and push-up bra, blood red lipstick expertly shaped, great cologne. She made a few comments to me about hoping she wasn’t boring (as if!). I reassured her she wasn’t, and it was true: she’s very intelligent and interesting. My wife likes Mike and I like Becky. I had high hopes for a future encounter.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Weeks later, we agreed to a second date, this one (communicated via my wife and Mike) would involve drinks at a swanky bar downtown and a hotel room across the street. Sure sounded like sex was on the menu but I was uncertain. My wife and I have had sex with a good number of couples, and we’re pretty comfortable with how group sex works and how dizzyingly hot it can be. Oddly, despite the fact that this was our “second date” with Mike and Becky and we’d already agreed to have a hotel room waiting across the street, I couldn’t quite convince myself sex was going to happen. While Mike and my wife had fucked countless times (his calling card is eating my wife out for up to an hour at a time), I couldn’t believe his twenty-something stunner wife was interested too. I’m a regular guy, fifty years old, married and with an open mind and definite knowledge and skills in bed—yet I just couldn’t imagine Becky was really going to join in with us.
So we met at the bar and had drinks and talked. Becky made lots of “sharing” puns concerning her appetizer. I was getting the picture. After one drink each we paid the bill, grabbed coats, and headed together to the hotel. Once in the room, we took coats off, looked out the window, and sat on two couches, my wife with Mike and Becky with me. We all chatted for a few. Mike and my wife snuggled up, his hands wandered around my wife’s thighs and soon between her legs over her clothes as they began kissing. I, on the other hand, was shy and moving slowly even while Becky pushed herself against me in invitingly. I mentioned to her that I guessed I was being shy. Lo, and behold: She said, “Well, I’m not!” And she stood up, removed her shirt and tossed it onto Mike’s and my wife’s couch, shrugged down her pants, removed her bra, and sat down facing me on my lap in only her panties.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We made out as couples on our couches for a few minutes and continued toward various states of undress. Mike and my wife, having fucked often before, were off to the races. Becky and I took time exploring and savoring. Eventually, all four of us were on the bed, still as couples but next to each other. The whole thing lasted about 90 min. In that time, I got to see Mike eat my wife out, her give him head, and then the two of them fucked in missionary and doggy style positions as far as I recall.
Side note: I don’t know if there’s anything more spectacular for me than to munch on another woman’s pussy and glance up to see her beautiful body and erect nipples while past that I can see my own wife, also naked, having an orgasm from her partner eating her out too. Being a part of two couples sharing each other side by side is incredible.
Becky and I fucked missionary style, doggy style, and cowgirl style and gave each other lots of oral. We also watched my wife and Mike at times, pausing to catch our breath and enjoy the show. I’m pretty sure Mike and my wife did the same.
Becky was a confident, eager, generous lover—enthusiastic but not rushed. She enjoyed it and repeatedly said I knew what I was doing, especially when I ate her out.
We finished, exhausted, and laid together under the sheets while Mike and my wife finished and did the same. After another brief period of talking between the four of us, we thanked each other and called it a night. Mike and Becky had to get home to relieve the baby sitter. My wife and I stayed in the hotel room all night, going to a nearby diner for a late snack and going back again for breakfast in the morning. Totally hot time.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We’re still in contact but haven’t had another date. Mike got a serious girlfriend (they’re poly; we’re not) and she isn’t comfortable with Mike dating others besides her and his wife. We may have another opportunity someday but will have to see.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? It is known (on our end) only by my wife and me. My wife enjoyed it as much as I did.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was hot, satisfying sex with a gorgeous young woman on the same bed where my wife and one of her partners were having hot, satisfying sex too. It was even more enjoyable for me because Becky is so appealing in intellect and not just appearance.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I can’t think of a single thing—other than it is, so far, a one-off.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No. My wife and I are experienced with consensual nonmonogamy, group sex, swinging, hotwifing, etc. We know what we’re getting and how it affects us.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I wish every person, especially those in loving couples, could experience this sort of freedom. When a couple feels it’s right for them and communicates extremely well, consensual nonmonogamy (primarily for sex) can break all previous margins for how close and satisfying even a previously satisfying and loving relationship can be. I know it’s not for everyone, but I wish everyone could experience this as we do. A thousand positive adjectives aren’t enough for it.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Social taboos concerning sex are generally damaging and restrict what are completely normal, healthy human desires. I wish everyone could feel free to explore and experience sex broadly, safely, and respectfully according to much healthier and less restrictive social norms.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? This is a good thing. I’m glad to see it and hope it helps advance sexual positivity and freedom in safe ways.
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