What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 77
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? engineer/professor
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (open)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Fun in the sun
How long ago did this hookup happen? 17
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (open)
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? This was at a resort in Mexico. The resort was clothing optional and was generally, but not exclusively, swingers. On the first day I saw a woman with an exceptionally beautiful body. She, like me, was there with a partner. The 4 of us started a conversation, laughed, got to know each other, had meals together, played footsie under the table and generally got to feel comfortable in each other’s company. On the second day we all decided to switch partners and have sex. That’s what swingers do! I was REALLY enthusiastic about it because this woman was such a sexy and sensual French Canadian. My wife was somewhat less taken with her potential partner, but the other guy was OK, so she agreed.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We decided to meet in our suite after dinner of the second day. Like many swinging encounters, there is no real planning; you just fall into the swap because after getting to know the other couple, it just seems right.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I don’t know much about what my wife’s experience was, but it was nothing special, she said. Mine was totally different. This was the most exciting and relaxed and satisfying casual sex I have ever had. My partner (I’ll call her “G”) and I were like “soul mates” from the first kiss It was so natural. We had a shower together with all the slipping and sliding that is so great when two soapy bodies come together. We dried each other off and went to the bedroom. We had some touching, rubbing, nibbling and such to start. Then 69 oral for a few minutes. She had an orgasm; I did not. Such sweetness and bliss. Finally, the penetration and my orgasm. It was absolutely the best sex I ever had with a swing partner. I was transported. She was so into it. We were, for the moment, dedicated to making the other feel like king/queen of the universe, and it worked. That spanned, maybe, an hour. We got up and walked to the other room where the other two were just lying on the bed, having finished the sex part some time before. After some casual chat among the 4 of us, we hugged, kissed and said, “See you in the morning at breakfast”.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The next day, we were all lounging around in the sun. G was on the lounge chair about 10 meters away. All morning, we glanced up at the each other, winked, nodded, smiled and flirted at a distance. We had meals with them again and played footsie under the table like a couple of teenagers. It was pretty obvious to G and me, that we had to meet again. Two days later, my wife was a bit under the weather (but not interested in another encounter with the other guy anyway) and the other guy agreed that G and I could get together in the evening. We went to the hot tub area under a beautiful full moon. After some hugging and kissing, I got her off orally with her sitting on the edge of the hot tub and me in the water. Then, we had intercourse in 5 different positions (on land, not in the water) until I finally couldn’t hold it any longer and climaxed. It was so beautiful. A couple of days went by with us being together for meals and such but not for sex. Even though we both wanted to, it was better for our partners not to. When we left the resort, we cried in each other’s arms, knowing that it was unlikely that we could meet again. We lived 1500 kilometers apart and both had permanent partners. On Valentine’s Day the next year, I got an email from her! We reconnected on email and snail mail with cards and love notes. We write regularly, especially on the nights when the moon is full. We love each other, but we know the constraints. Fortunately, my wife (of 53 years) likes G and understands my feelings towards her. It is quite possible to love two people at the same time, as we found out.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, Sterilization, I don’t know if my partner was on any (other) method
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s)
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Mainly to my wife. I have mentioned it to some others over the years, but not much detail.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sex was wonderful. I have a lasting connection to a beautiful human being.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Not being able to get together again.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I think casual sex is good for some people, probably not for some others. This experience described above was absolutely the best of several encounters over the years. It had no effect on my attitude, but it’s always nice to know that I may be attractive to a women.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think it is natural for humans. Monogamy is not. However, there is a lot of manipulation, exploitation and coercion because too many guys are real pricks. If the hook-ups are REALLY mutually agreed, they can be fun, exciting and beneficial.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Super idea. We need to make sex more open, natural and humane.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!