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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 21
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Midwest, USA
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Unemployed
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Polyamorous
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 21
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
Garden Center Tryst
How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 months
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was my age and just my type– 6 foot, thick black hair, bearded, full bodied and strong. We had been working at the same garden center, sweating along side each other in the late spring/early summer heat. I was attracted to him from the moment I saw him, so I would make an effort to join him in work tasks. I was in a relationship but I didn’t think there was any harm in my attraction. One day, I noticed he had a wedding band on. He and another coworker could see the dismay on my face when I asked him if he was married and he replied that he was engaged. It was hard to mask; he was too young and sexy to be tied down, in my opinion!
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? About a week after I asked him if he was married, I showed up to a shift and checked if he was coming in. He was set to show up in two hours. I spent those hours trying not to think about him, and as his shift time grew nearer, I was anxiously waiting. He showed up and we did some minor work before torrential rain set in. We spent the evening walking about under the canopy picking up fell plants and casually flirting. We both left an hour before closing time. It was just us in the parking lot. My heart was pounding as we leaned against our cars; we were staring at each other so intensely I was biting my lip. He said, “You are so fucking hot.” My face was on fire along with every other part of me. “Can I kiss you?” he asked in the gruffest voice you can imagine. I just nodded my head, then we were making out in the lot of our workplace. After a minute, I pulled away and said, “But you have a fiance..” and he said she was out of state for the summer so if I didn’t care then it wasn’t a problem. We exchanged emails and agreed to meet on a day off. I masturbated on my drive home.. I couldn’t wait.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? The first time we met, I was extremely nervous and guilt-ridden. This was the first time I was cheating on my boyfriend of 2.5 years. We didn’t have a place to go so we went to a park. We found a semi-secluded area by a pond and he finger fucked me to high heaven for about five minutes before I pulled down his pants and proceeded to give him head. His dick was thick as fuck. He completely surprised me by grabbing my head and face fucking me. For a moment, I was taken aback and almost insulted. But then I looked up at him and saw him in ecstasy; his moans were so sexy too, it started turning me on and I wanted to choke on his cock. He came deep in my throat as tears rolled down my face. He laid back on the grass and shuddered for like two minutes before he could even say anything. “My girlfriend has never given me head. That was fucking amazing. Holy shit.” That made me feel pretty great. I wanted to fuck him but it was a little too public and we hurried to pull our clothes back on. He wiped my mascara up so I didn’t look like a lunatic.
The next time we met, he said he could take me to this old farm house. But when we showed up, people were there. So we ended up driving to a different park. We walked the trails trying to find a place with a little privacy. We pushed through the brush and laid a blanket down on the cool ground. We made out, he fingered me, I sucked him for a minute, then he told me to bend over so he could ram me. I was so ready for his thick dick. He immediately just started pounding me– I had never been fucked like that before. It was so hard and fast and I was literally screaming and started crying from the release and pleasure of it. He came fairly quickly and we sat there contemplating whether we should go for another round when we realized we both already had ticks crawling on us. (He said he found one on his balls later that night. I found one on my ass a day later! Yikes.)
The last time we hooked up, I invited him to my apartment which I shared with my boyfriend at the time. We fucked a couple times, it was hard and rough. He liked pulling my hair and slapping my ass. It was pretty awesome to get fucked by this jackhammer. But the whole time, I couldn’t stop thinking about how horrible it was that we were screwing in this home I shared, or that what if my boyfriend walks in on us! So I shuffled him out the door pretty quickly.
None of the times did I cum because most of the hookup was about penetration, but I was fine with that.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the last time, I kept having these nightmarish dreams about getting lockjaw during a blowjob and as I pull the dick out so I wouldn’t bite it off, it knocks all my teeth out (or just being in bad sexual situations, feeling generally dishonest). I wanted to have sex with him again, I wanted to tell my boyfriend about it, I wanted to be accepted as this horny sexual being I am without all the hiding and guilt.
I knew there was no permanent future with this guy, since his fiance would be back eventually. She was also bisexual so I fantasized about us all open and engaging each other sexually. But my guilt totally killed the vibe with him. He wanted to keep hooking up but I just couldn’t bring myself to while I was still in my relationship.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself, To feel more confident, Submission / Relinquishing power, Boredom
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one at the time, I kept the secret to myself which is amazing for someone like me. I did tell my best friend and current hook up recently, and he made it clear he thought it showed I lacked integrity.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively negative
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? My boyfriend and I had been pretty sexless for the last year so I finally got fucked like I needed!! He had a nice thick dick and only fucked me doggy style.. my favourite. It was very carnal and passionate.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The feeling of being dishonest, not being able to talk to other people about it, having to end it after only 3 fucks.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It definitely makes me doubt the legitimacy of monogamy. I had already thought I was polyamorous, but this hookup solidified that– especially knowing how bad it made me feel to go against my partner’s back. And that this guy who was engaged to be married wanted a fling before the big day! Now I will only be in openly non-monogamous situations so I won’t put myself and my future partner’s through the same tough thing.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? It made for a fun time at work. We played games where we’d tell each other our fantasies, he’d spank my ass when I’d walk by, I’d grab his dick. He loved to tell me what a dirty fucking girl I was, that I act like a princess but I just want to get a big cock pushed into me like a whore. Over the course of the month this happened, I ended up in the restroom rubbing myself to orgasm so many times because of our hot connection.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex is interesting. I’m the type of person who forms fairly intimate relationships quickly. I don’t shy away from complicated conversations and diving deep into emotional spaces. Most of the time, I hook up with friends or people I know. I like the feeling of making life-long connections through intimacy and sex. I wish it was less taboo to express large feelings like LOVE in a casual situation without fear of running that person away. I’m not asking for commitment, just expressing myself.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I adore this idea and I think it’s amazing work! I look forward to sharing more of my experiences
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