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What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 40
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Australia
What country and/or city do you live in? Perth (at the time)
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Teacher
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Very
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 50+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 1

Gin and Tonic was the trick

How long ago did this hookup happen? 10 years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Mia was a petite 21yo blonde Danish girl from my own city, who I had met in an online chatroom. Unlike others in the chatroom, she refused to talk about sex at all – she was only interested in talking above board. I quite liked that, and came to enjoy having someone to chat to who was just open and honest and not seedy. Although my wife didn’t know about it, I met up with her a few times just to hang out, during the day. Nothing romantic or sexual happened at all, it was just hanging out. We had meals together occasionally.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I went to her house (it was her parents’ house, but they weren’t there), during the day one time. I had brought ingredients to make a pasta dish, and we made it, and it was delicious. Then she proposed that we try gin and tonics. This was a favourite drink of hers, but I’d never tried one. I was doubtful that I’d like it, but I tried one and it was delicious, so we had a few more each, until we were properly tipsy. Mia knew that I had a partner, but we suddenly found ourselves kissing passionately.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? My hands moved to her breasts as we were kissing, up under her top. It became more and more passionate, until she suggested we go upstairs to her bedroom. We got naked, and I enjoyed the sight of her natural blonde bush and small breasts. She lay back on the bed with her knees pulled right up, exposing her sexy hole. Although I wanted to lick her, she was keen to get straight into it, so she pulled me inside her, and I pounded her hard. She was clearly enjoying it, and I loved this view. After a while she groaned, ‘I’m cumming!’ – and she had a strong orgasm. We continued in this same position, and I was telling her how beautiful she was and how much I’d wanted this. After a while she built up to a second orgasm, in the same way: she groaned, ‘I’m cumming!’ and had another powerful one. But soon after this, it was as if she came to her senses and realised that she was fucking a guy who was taken. So she pulled me out and said, ‘We shouldn’t be doing this. I begged her to finish me off, even with her hand, but she refused.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We stayed in contact and met up again, but weren’t sexual again.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Intoxication, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked to a couple of females about it, who said that this girl had been unfair in having her two orgasms and then denying me any.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively negative

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat

Why do you regret this hookup? I had mixed feelings about it – I felt very gratified in making her orgasm twice, but of course I felt frustrated that I didn’t orgasm. And later on I felt bad because I’m married, and I was seeking the intimacy that I felt my wife was refusing me.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Seeing this beautiful young Danish girl have two strong orgasms under me.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I didn’t orgasm; I was married.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Added to my awareness of the frustrations and complexities.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? My wife has a low sex drive, and I felt rejected by her for a long time, so I found solace in seeking intimacy elsewhere – I was desperate to feel desired. That’s how casual sex fitted in for me. Also I get so horny!

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Interesting insights.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!