This post is sponsored by The T Bar.
What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 23
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Ann Arbor, MI
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 days ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We’d met on OkCupid and arranged to hang out with the intent of seeing if we got along well enough to pursue a casual sexual arrangement. The plan: make gingerbread cookies and watch Home Alone. We’d had a few short conversations during the week prior. I was excited to meet him – the guy seemed intelligent, very straightforward, honest, and down-to-earth, and had a good sense of humor.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We met at his house and baked/started watching the film. As mentioned earlier, casual sex was a potential option (we’d both expressed the desire for a casual encounter in general), but not decided upon. During a snack break, he mentioned being physically lonely (he’s in an open, long-distance relationship), so I suggested we snuggle for the remainder of the movie. At that point, we went to his bedroom, laid on the bed, legs intertwined, talking about music, past sexual experiences, turn ons/offs, and kink/fetish interests. He commented that a big turn on for him was when both people were aware that they both wanted to fuck. Of course, we locked eyes and just started intensely at one another, which made me grin and laugh. He went for the first move, a kiss, but I pushed him away and requested that he finish talking about his turn ons first. He did, and after that we started kissing. –> hookup ensued.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? During the hookup, we made out for about 15 minutes. He then fingered me (penetrative, no clitoral stimulation). He was very energetic and enthusiastic with the manual stimulation, which was great – it felt really good, but I could tell this wasn’t the kind of hookup where we would spend an extensive amount of time on foreplay before having penile-vaginal intercourse, so I wanted to go ahead and get to the fucking. He asked if I had any “cooties” – no, I did not, and he also said he was clean. I briefly performed oral on him (he’s uncut, which was a first for me. Didn’t feel too different from the circumcised penises I’ve interacted with). We reached for a condom but he started going soft while putting it on, so we messed around for a few more minutes until he was fully erect again. At first we started in missionary position (again, he was quite energetic, pretty decent speed of thrusting), and then I got on top. I was very wet, so his dick slipped out a few times, and more friction would have been nice. His bed wasn’t firm enough for me to be able to maintain a good rhythm on top (at least, not if he was also moving), so we relocated to his bedroom floor. The few moments it took to relocate was enough to lost some of my extra lubrication. On the floor, I was able to settle into a good rhythm. I played with my clit, and tugged at my hair until I orgasmed. It didn’t take longer than 2 or 3 minutes. He was letting me control how the sex went, so I happily took advantage of that opportunity to get myself off ASAP. It wasn’t an amazing orgasm – more like one of those “sorta” orgasms, where it counts but it could have been so much more. After I came (subtly, I might add. I’m not noisy nor do I convulse when I orgasm on top, so he didn’t even know until post-sex, when I informed him that I had came), we fucked for another minute or two and then called it quits. He seemed to be growing distracted, and also seemed to be okay with not orgasming himself.
He said that he really liked my assertiveness, energy, and enthusiasm.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup, we cleaned ourselves up and talked about relationships. We talked about his girlfriend and how their sexual relationship has been relatively unsatisfying for the last year or two, and we cuddled on his bed for a while. Then I looked outside, saw it was snowing quite a bit, and decided I’d rather go home now rather than risk driving the next day. We both echoed the sentiment of wanting to hang out again. I think he’s a really great person to talk to, so while I’m not settled on wanting to hook up again, I’d like to see him again at least as a friend but I wasn’t incredibly attracted to him physically.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Discussed STI testing history
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, To feel more confident, I was feeling lonely, Making new friends, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Several friends at school. They were excited for me!
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Feeling very relaxed, no pressure.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The physical connection was relaxed and intimate, but not particularly “hot”.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I enjoy casual sex, but I very rarely will engage in it if there is zero connection between the other person and myself. It’s a temporary replacement for more regular and intimate physical activity, and boosts my self-confidence.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Very interesting!
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!