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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Germany
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 9
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

I got Slut-Shamed

How long ago did this hookup happen? A year ago

What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? P is a really big and muscly latino man, body-builder type. He is in his mid thirties.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was visiting Brazil with a study group of my university. P. was one of the Brazilians who joined this German group as an instructor and guide.

Our group went on a trip into the amazon rain forest. P. went with us. We investigated the plants, animals and the water of this part of the Amazon. During our work, I noticed that P. was very interested in me. I knew that he was married with kids, therefore I was very confused by his approaches. He got more and more direct. P. invited me to come to his cabin after everyone had come to bed.

I knew that this was the wrong thing to do, but P. was such a big guy. I felt I could not turn down an attractive man like him.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? P. was a rather dominant and selfish lover. He told me to give him a blowjob just after a few kisses. I obliged and he just kept on doing it until he blew his sperm into my mouth. He kept on dirty talking all the time while he was fucking my mouth. He would just tell me what to do, eg. sucking his balls.

P has a really big penis and I was worried that it would hurt once he would fuck me. He fucked me real hard, it did hurt a little bit at first but I had a strong orgasm. When we were done, he told me to get back to my cabin so no one would notice.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt that I had made a huge mistake. Of course, the rest of the study group found out and I got slut-shamed. It was horrible. To top it off, P. realised that I had a boyfriend at home and shamed me as well for cheating on him, even though he is married himself. The perfect example of male double standards.

Later on, P. told me to book a single room in a hostel. We met there and fucked again. He was selfish again, but I couldn’t resist. He only stayed for about two hours so his wife would not find out.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant

What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), I didn’t want it but was unable to stop it

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Not at all

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? It was really awful dealing with the group after I had sex with P. Some of them just found it awkward, others were really disgusted that I did it with a married guy.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively negative

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Very much

Why do you regret this hookup? I lost the respect of some people I study with. I should not have done this. P. did not seem to respect me much, either.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Both times I had sex with P. were very sexually very satisfying.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The shame put on my by P. and my fellow students. Losing the respect of others and being seen as a slut. It felt humiliating.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I should really be more careful of the social consequences of my actions.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? People should not stick their nose into other people’s business. Most people have casual sex. We should stop being so judgemental.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!