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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Chicago
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Artist
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Wiccan / Pagan
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Demisexual, sexual trauma survivor
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 11
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Great Head with my Docs Martens still on

How long ago did this hookup happen? A month ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met them the day before at this indie music fest. He wore flannel and had this amazing beard and dedicated a song to me in his set.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We had been drinking. Me lightly because I like to stay in control of my body. It was feeezing in southern Missouri in October and he came into my tent to cuddle. He really pushed for it but I was into it and it was fucking hot.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He pulled my panties down and gave me head with my purple Doc Martens still on and straight up in the air. I came on his chin as he grabbed my chest too. Amazing. I was going to make him cum but he said, “nah, the woman should be the one who cums- it takes me so long to cum anyway.” I laughed so hard because that was a first. I usually don’t cum with men and I’m never the first to cum. Then he left back to his tent. Although, I wanted him to stay and cuddle. I got all the blankets to myself and slept dreamily in the October air to the smell of a bonfire burning all night and a very happy vagina.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I knew I wasn’t going to be with him since we lived 400 miles apart! So I was just cool about it & laughed a little in my head every time I saw him. I was very proud of how I didn’t get so attached to expectations & hope for a future with someone I barely knew.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Thought it was an important experience to have, Intoxication, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one really- just my friend on the drive home.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? That I actually came & was satisfied. That he got hard pleasing me. That’s so hot to me.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That he didn’t “stay the night” because he wanted his real bed in his tent! I desire closeness in all sexual encounters. I value being sensual & intimacy & being able to also laugh during sex & a sense of safety. I also kept awesome boundaries in this hookup!! I said no penetration & none happened because I kept saying an enthusiastic no! Penetration hurts for me as I am a trauma survivor & my vagina tenses up with penetration!

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, it tells me to seek out more pleasure & more sex with my docs still on- to let myself have sex at times of experiencing great art in beautiful places!

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Try having sex with your combat boots still on while camping at a music festival. It’s awesome. I have had the best sex while camping! I highly reccomend it!

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I want honesty in casual hookups, boundaries, & no more ghosting! If you are not into someone anymore, tell them!!! Don’t just disappear from their life with no explanation. Also, I’m seeking a fulfilling, committed relationship when I have a better grip on my identity, my needs, & my sexuality! I am no longer interested in casual sex because it tends to leave me feeling used & hurt & disillusioned. I have sex when I need love. I believe I am looking for intimacy. I want to be heard in relationships & seen & I want to share art deeply with that person & feel on top of the world & maybe take them on tour with me.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It is healing & so awesome to hear about sex lifes from all ages & identities. What a cool concept. I hope to be a part of it further one day!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!