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What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 58
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Australia
What country and/or city do you live in? Sydney
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Teacher
What’s your current relationship status? I’m married and separated. I have a very possessive partner, but I still have other partners sometimes.
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Very
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? about 50
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Greetings from Paradise

How long ago did this hookup happen? I had sex with others since 2003

What was your relationship status at the time? married

How would you best classify this hookup? Paid sex

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I’m not really into looks. I am into the way they react when I speak to them and touch them. The desire they show.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The first time, my wife kept nagging me about a 17 year old friend of our son who had had sex with his girlfriend. His mother wanted to know whether the girl had been a virgin. My wife kept nagging me, as if I knew but didn’t tell her. By that time I had not had sex for four and a half years. Later that week I paid for the first time.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? The first time was pretty straight forward just sex. I didn’t enjoy it much. I was scared to get HIV even though I used a condom. She just did it for the money, quite obviously.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt really bad because I thought it would never be nice again. I thought this is the way it’s going to be for pay. I have since found several brothels with a really great culture in which I had divine experiences. The strange thing was the first time, my wife came to me that night, even though we had not had sex for four and a half years. Since then for the remainder of our marriage, we usually had sex, after I had been paying, even though she didn’t know. I even twice did it on purpose, paying on a Friday night because we had a ‘romantic weekend’ planned. And it worked. Romantic weekends never worked before.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, I don’t know if my partner was on any (other) method

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? I don’t know

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I wanted it, but was not enthusiastic. It seemed the only way to get it again.

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? Did it for pay

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Later longer term girl friends. Just listened. I did not tell them, I paid, but I told them how it was. I always was under the impression that it made me more desirable to them.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was a start. Later I blamed myself for not getting into it enough. I suppose, I was looking for a friend who would agree with me that just casual sex is great. I find people like that really hard to find. I picked up several longer term girl friends at singles events, but they all seem to be interested in a marriage like relationship. That’s why I don’t like going there anymore. It seems dishonest. The next time I payed was great though. We both came. I am fairly certain she did, her vagina really spasmed around my penis. The third time, I couldn’t get it up. At the brothel, when there is no desirable girl, I still find it hard to leave.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The first time it was not much fun and I thought, it will always be like that, because of all the stories I have heard about paying. But later it was really great at times.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not that one in particular, but I had a lot of thought about sex and religion. I had started writing on a book on religion and economics about ten years earlier, but in the end it turned out a book about sexuality in the Bible. It is called ‘Greetings from Paradise’ and it is available as an ebook on Amazon. I also have an internet site sexy-church.org. On that site are some later thoughts that are not in the book yet. In the essays on that site there is a discussion whether Abraham was fertile and the origin of circumcision. I feel like I shout and no-one seems to hear. My findings are so liberating!!!!!

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I dream of living in a place where I could just go up to a woman who has this look on her face, put my arm around her, make her a compliment, and gently pursue what we all want, observing how she reacts and, if it doesn’t work out with her, there would just be another one. I actually think that monogamy is a hindrance to great sex, because you are sharing a life together, there is always criticism and discontent. It is much better to get together with someone, just for the pleasure, knowing that you have nothing else in common and you will not have to adjust to each other’s views. That’s why I like to have sex with women past their menopause, since they can have sex without fear of pregnancy. I have no understanding for gay marriage, even though I do not oppose it. Some sex – workers really took me up to heaven!!!

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it is very worth while. I wish you would have a look at my book, since I have many great thoughts and I suppose there is a lot of religious opposition to sex and this project. These old texts need to be read with a thinking mind. For example, the Original Sin was eating of the fruit of knowledge of good and evil. God’s punishment to the woman was (Gen. 3: 16), I will multiply your sorrow and your conception (the Hebrew word for and means hook, God hooked sorrow and conception together!) In sorrow shalt thou bring forth children, but your desire shall be to your man (there is no Hebrew word for husband or wife) and he shall rule over thee!’ Doesn’t his make it obvious that this knowledge was the recognition how women get pregnant. And this ‘rule over thee’ bit. Doesn’t that just explain why women still want to have sex? If a woman doesn’t want to get pregnant, why would she have sex? The ancient explanation was, because God cursed her like that. Her desire shall be towards her man and it shall be as if he ruled over her. She shall not be able to help herself, she will just want to have sex! There is much more like this in my book!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!