What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 45
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Australia
What country and/or city do you live in? Melbourne
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Executive Assistant
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Open to anything
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 25
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
What happens on the Island, stays on the Island
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 months
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? M is a man of similar age, with a cuddly physique and an easy smile, who I met at a work conference that I was organising. He was one of the sound/vision technicians.
We sat next to each other at dinner, talking, laughing and sharing stories. We are both married, have children and have the same taste in music.
Before the hookup, I enjoyed our conversation and laughter, but thought nothing more of our interaction.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? All the staff arranged to meet up for drinks after the last conference session.
Many drinks and lots of laughs later, I said my good nights to those left and went to the bathroom on the way back to my room which was some distance away.
M was waiting for me outside. He slid his hands around my waist and kissed me while looking deep into my eyes. I threw my arms around his neck and kissed back, fervently, passionately. I asked him to come back to my room.
There was no planning, just got swept away in the lust of the moment.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We got to my room, I dimmed the lights and faced M. Our kisses were delicious; our hands roamed over each other’s body removing clothing and touching each other up. We collapsed onto the bed, fucking missionary before changing to me on top. He called me a dirty girl – which I loved.
It was getting very late, so he left but had to return for his room key that had fallen out of his pocket.
The next morning I went to see him and asked if he wanted my number. We spent the next few hours messaging each other.
After the conclusion of the conference, M asked if I could get away as his roommate was out. He met me and as we walked towards his room, I took my hair down and started undoing the buttons of my shirt. Once in his room we partly undressed. I knelt before him sucking his lovely hard cock. He said we didn’t have much time and his roommate might be back at any moment, so I bent over one of the beds, he slid my skirt up to my hips and took me from behind, thrusting deeply while giving me anal stimulation until we both came.
I dressed quickly and left, feeling elated.
M is a wonderful lover – thoughtful, considerate and very talented. He makes me feel very attractive and very, very sexy.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We returned to Melbourne and agreed to meet up again.
Since then, we have exchanged lots of naughty messages and have met up for fantastic sex. We have plans to do so again soon.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), To feel more desirable
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The unexpected delight of being desired.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That it didn’t happen earlier – we wasted two days of opportunities to hookup while at the conference.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No. It was an enormous ego boost and an opportunity to express facets of my sexuality and desires that had been shelved since marrying.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? It has led to further meetings between M and I. We have discussed some ground rules (no demands, no jealousy, no marks), and agree there is a lot of fun to be had if we are careful.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? As long as all parties are in agreement and expectations are in alignment, then it can be very positive.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I am grateful for an outlet to share my story as I obviously can’t discuss it IRL. I also think it is an important step in evolving the knowledge and research around sexuality, which I suspect is far more layered and complex than standard studies would have us believe.
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