Current location: NYC
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 2
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 months.
How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? A one night stand that became something more.
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was tall, skinny and utterly gorgeous. He had dark hair and blue eyes with a small wedge of brown in the north-west of his left iris, though I didn’t notice this at the time. I’d never met him before in my life and it was the end of the night, so I had known him for about ten minutes before we went back to his.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It was my birthday, it was nearly 5 in the morning, all my friends had gone home and I wanted to stay out. I met Ben in the street as I walked from one club to the next, though I was drunk and have no idea how we started talking. By the time we stumbled up to the second club we had our arms around each other and when we got there we found out it was shut on Tuesdays. As we stood outside, he kissed me and I kissed back. I don’t remember who suggested going back to his but we hopped in a taxi and ended up in his house.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I had six weeks previously come out of a three year relationship and I had never slept with anyone else; I think I told him the second part. We made out and undressed in his room and he lay down on his bed. I got on top of him and explained that I wasn’t ready to have sex or have him give me anything sexually, I just wanted to go down on him. I kissed my way down his torso and started sucking his dick, which was huge. He seemed to be enjoying it; he reached down and rubbed my clit while I was going down on him but I was too nervous to get any pleasure from it and told him that I was happy just giving.
He pulled my hair after I asked him to which I liked; then he forced my head down on his dick which I wasn’t such a fan of but just waited it out and he stopped after a minute; I carried on and the same happened a short while later. I wanted to make him come and didn’t think he had so kept going. After a while I noticed his dick wasn’t as hard as it had been and he wasn’t reacting vocally as before – I looked up to see he’d passed out with his dick in my mouth. I was mortified for a second before it became incredibly funny.
Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I didn’t and nor did I want to; I thought he hadn’t but I found out later that he has basically no load so when he’d pushed my head down, he was almost certainly orgasming (I found out it was his habit.) At the time though I was expecting to have something to swallow and so believed he didn’t.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? None and no.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Drunkenness. Doing something I had always wanted to (casual sex) but never had the guts or opportunity before. He was one of the most gorgeous people I’ve ever seen.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Lots of alcohol. I had been drinking all night and so had he. I had quite a few missing memories the next day; he barely remembered anything.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I got dressed as he lay naked and sleeping and wrote him a note which began “Dear Ben, You fell asleep with your dick in my mouth.” I ended it by saying “Would appreciate pointers to avoid this ever happening again” and left my name and number, though I was in two minds about leaving my contact; part of me wanted to leave just a name and pass like a weird ship in the night I got on the bus home at 6.30am and thought, well that was a memorable birthday. Two days later I got a text from him saying he owed me a huge apology; we got to talking and the next week when we were both out ended up at the same bar again (it’s a regular hangout for our separate friendship groups). That night I met his friends – who it turned out, had been the ones who found the note; he’d woken up hungover and not remembering what we’d done at all.
He came home with me that night and we did stuff; we saw each other a few more times in the next weeks, got on surprisingly well and slept together but we were both keeping our distance emotionally as I already had plans to move out to New York for two months. We like each other very much though and I think we both want to see where things might lead once I’m back in the country in September.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I didn’t tell my housemates because they were unsupportive of me having casual sex. I told my friends back at home who nearly cried with laughter and were happy I had found someone cool.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes for both of us, even if we were incredibly drunk.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Not at all. It wasn’t exactly ideal sex but it made a funny story and I’m very glad that we met each other.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best was meeting Ben. The worst was I used the phrase “dick sucking skillz” with a ‘z’ in the note I left. This hookup was really important because after leaving the serious relationship I’d been in since I was 18, it was the start of me getting into dating as an adult and was a nice introduction to having sex with new people.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
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