by me

Gender: female
Age: 18
Race/ethnicity: mexican/italian
Current location: los angeles
Highest education received: High school diploma
Occupation: student
Relationship status: single
Religious affiliation: none
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 3
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Hate Sex

How long ago did this hookup happen? about a month

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? booty call/sex with an ex

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He is a few years older than me, tall, 6’1 with dark brown hair and blue eyes. We had been seeing each other for about a month prior but there were some disconnects on “what we were” (in terms of relationship) so I ended things. We had engaged in oral sex while we were seeing each other. I had met him through a dating app, I didn’t have any feelings toward him anymore (he was kind of an asshole).

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It was two weeks after I had ended things, and I got a text from him asking to have “hate sex”, his reasoning being that he had always been curious about what it was like. I had never heard the term before, so after we cleared up that he didn’t actually hate me, I agreed because he didn’t want to have sex while we were dating and I really wanted to fuck him. Also, I had only had sex with one guy on one occasion before so I really wanted him to be my next. The following night I came over to his house, and we started talking like we usually do, he apologized about the way asked for this. He was definitely the instigator throughout the entire hookup.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He slid over to me on the bed and started to kiss and finger me, I was always so turned on by him so despite being annoyed with him I followed along and liked the way he was touching me. He went down on me, and once I was “ready” he started to go in. He was pretty huge so it hurt but he was understanding and took it slow. Once I relaxed it started to feel pretty good but he wanted to go faster and I felt badly that I was hindering that. The whole while he was talking dirty to me, and after a little bit he came, and I did not.
I could tell he still had feelings for me with how much care he took into seeing that he wasn’t hurting me. He was a pretty good lover, but I was just so sexually attracted to him that anything he did got me horny.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? I knew that he was clean, and he knew I was, and we used a condom.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was very sexually attracted to him, really wanted to fuck him and took the chance when I got it. Also, I knew he would be caring and good at it. I’m going to college in the fall so I also wanted some more experience.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? None for me, he had one beer but was not affected by it.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After, he asked me multiple times if I was okay and to see if I was bleeding, which I was a tiny bit. We snuggled, laid in bed and watched Netflix, then went to In ‘n Out and he bought me french fries. We talked about becoming friends with benefits, and although it wasn’t what he wanted (he wanted a relationship) he agreed because he wanted to keep seeing me.
The next morning he texted me asking about my soreness and how I felt, and we continued talking and seeing each other, having sex almost every time, except when I was on my period & he still wanted me to come over to cuddle. I sleep over his house sometimes and I’m very comfortable around him. Neither of us really know what we are but I love hanging out with him but don’t like him enough to be in a committed relationship with him.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My best friend, I told her about the initial text right when I got it and she is protective of me but supports me in whatever I want to do. She’s happy that he makes me happy but knows that he causes a lot of stress in my life (unrelated to the sex) so she doesn’t think he’s good for me.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Starting to have sex with him. The worst is that I didn’t finish, and still have not, but I like when he does so it’s fine with me. Yes, I didn’t know I would like casual sex, but it works for me right now. I’m young and love to try new things so I’m pretty happy with it.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

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