What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 72
What’s your race/ethnicity? Mixed / Multiracial
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Aurora
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? retired
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? I like sex. I prefer attractive HWP educated women but will have a man if that is what is available
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 45
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2
He Came Right Over
How long ago did this hookup happen? last Sat
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? The ad was on craigslist . I answered. He was about my height, thinner, late middle age. This was a blind date. The first time I had laid eyes on him. Before he came I wanted sex. I love sex. I am not looking for more from men. I way prefer women. Now I am retired I don’t meet many women I really am attracted to. Singles sites are not very good have social anxiety too which does not help.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I answered a craigslist ad. For me that has been ok. I have had to go to male sex that way as it is a lot easier. After a couple of emails he came over. It is called Hosting here. The surprise was how fast he arrived, as I had Just come out of the shower and put incense on.
Spur of the moment one might say.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He had a lot of tattoos on this lean body. we stripped and went to the couch. He started oral but had never learned to suck. After a while we moved to the more comfortable bed. His technique needed a lot of work. I take a long time to come with oral. This day it wasn’t happening. I liked the body contact.
I asked him if he liked to be sucked . He did. so we moved to 69 which he said he did not like because he could not concentrate. He liked my blow job well enough when he came down my throat. Then he wanted to go. Men tend to get down to business and then go about their other affairs.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt frustrated my body had not cooperated at all. I thing I won’t see him again as I am at this stage not beautiful/handsome. I had only hope that i could get a regular sex contact. I realize that I am passive. Me I would like more conversation as my mind is the gateway to my body.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one I have nobody I can trust with this secret.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? I wanted the sex to have an orgasm. Or to be anally penetrated. The holy grail is to have prostate orgasm. I have come close before with a sex guy who always came too fast.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Having the physical contact
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Not having an orgasm and that he was not very good at this. I do not think he knew what he was doing. Enthusiasm can’t replace skill.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I find that many men in my position rely on male sex because it is cheap and very easy compared to dealing with the baggage women have been indoctrinated to in this society. I have had many male sex partners say that to me. Men like the prestige of a good looking woman. Men will put up with a lot of baggage. Sex esp as one becomes more mature is a timing item most of all. I love sex and I love women who enjoy sex. My anxiety is less with men because there is less performance. In some ways i envie women who do not have to get an erection.
I blame myself mostly for not being rich enough. The women who would be more amenable to my thoughts are professional,well educated,well to do and very disciplined. They know what they want and are more assertive.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I wish I could find a teacher to get me over the social anxiety and “spectating” during sex so my mind is focused on the experience and pleasure.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I like casual sex I wish it was more available with out the communication mess. I wish I was confident too so I could be bold and directly ask for what i want. With men, there is a communication of shared experiences. I was in China with my then fiancee. her brothers and male cousins were easy to communicate with by pantomime an a few words. Because of my lack of language skills talking with women was much more difficult and frustrating.
It would be very good to have communications opened up. There is a British line I wish I could use when the right time came :’fancy a shag”? I so direct. And yet less vulgar.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Very eye opening. It helps me learn that my feelings are not strange. I wish it had bee around decades ago so I could have had more courage to take advantage of situations that came to me but I was too afraid.
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