by

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 28
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? IT
What’s your current relationship status? Solo polyamory
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 1

“Hello, stranger”

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was taller than me, not as tall as the other guys I’ve been involved with lately. Nice figure, not very muscular though. He is around 13 years older than I am. I met him online, actually just to exchange experiences on open relationships and not AT ALL in any attempt to ‘meet someone’ as my head was already full with all the guys that have been in my life lately, but over the next few days we turned out to get along really well and to share some sexual preferences. We had planned to talk about open relationships over dinner, but ended up planning a sex date. I was very excited about it, since having sex with a (almost) stranger was definitely a fantasy of mine… I also felt really attracted by his determination and ‘dominance’ in telling me exactly what he was going to do to me. However, I was actually a bit worried I wouldn’t find him physically attractive or he would turn out not to be my type.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I know it’s wrong, and I wouldn’t advise it to anyone… But I invited him over to my house. He came in, and I said “hello, stranger”. I showed him my living room, we exchanged a few pleasantries, and within 5 minutes he said “you naughty girl, inviting a stranger over to your house” and kissed me. I replied with a smirk: “I’m already glad I did that”.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We started making out, then he asked me what I wanted to do. I told him I wanted it to go according to his plan, meaning he would make me cum first (his words were something like: “First I kiss and caress you. First you cum. Then we make love.”) So we went over to the couch and he started to finger me. I knew he wanted me to give some directions, so I did, even though I’m not very used to doing that. Time went by and I noticed I wasn’t enjoying it nearly as much as I should, I wasn’t very excited by it. A few times I got close to orgasm, but I really had to fantasize about some crazy kinky stuff to keep my thoughts from drifting away, or from feeling rushed into having an orgasm. I’m not even sure exactly why I wasn’t so excited. I guess like I feared I didn’t find him very handsome, he said a few things that annoyed me, plus: when I almost came -and he must have noticed by my moaning- he slowed down so much that we had to start all over again… ARGH. What I did really like though, was when he put his hand to my throat (not in any violent matter) because this increased the rush. Anyway, it took much longer than expected and we had limited time. He told me we would finish it some other time and we kissed a little. He asked me if I wanted to put my hungry looking mouth to his cock and I playfully refused because “I don’t do that on the first date”. This isn’t even necessarily true, but he hadn’t licked me either… I was massaging his cock and his balls all through the fingering-session, he was hard the whole time, so no need to complain I’d say.
So after the fingering we went to the kitchen. There, he bent me over and slapped my ass. He had slapped me (tits, vagina) during the fingering as well, I wasn’t used to that at all but I liked it more than expected. I really couldn’t wait to feel him inside of me. It’s funny, but getting it from the back for the first time is always very exciting to me because there’s less distraction than in any other position, you can just focus on FEELING it, which I think is fantastic.. and during my last sexual encounter with a man we couldn’t make it happen from the back because he was too big for that angle (luxury problem some would say, to me it was very frustrating). So this time, it went very smoothly and he fucked me good, he stopped to ask me “will you send me pics of your tits?” and I told him I would, after that he continued until he came (rather quickly, but as I said there was limited time).

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup, we kissed and he hugged me twice. I asked with a smile if it would be repeated, and I guess he did not immediately hear me correctly because he reacted in a strange manner.. or maybe he didn’t want to see me again and didn’t want to come out and say that to my face. He said he wasn’t looking for a second relationship, and I was very surprised at that because I thought I had made it clear that I wasn’t either… He wasn’t even my type… How did I give him the impression I wanted a relationship??

The next day I was not very happy with what had happened. I felt stupid for making him try to please me so that we didn’t have much time for actual sex – which turned out to excite me more anyway so it was a lose-lose situation… Also, the week before the hookup we had been talking quite a lot and the days after the hookup he was a bit cold and distant in my opinion. I don’t yet know where we stand, he’s sending out mixed signals. I was a bit bothered and worried by what had happened, but 2 days later I had casual sex with someone else (not a stranger this time, a guy I feel comfortable with and trust), and this time it was fantastic and it made me extremely happy, so at least now I no longer worry that there’s something wrong with my ability to have casual sex.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, To cheer myself up, Revenge / Getting even

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Just one friend, who encouraged it (which I knew, that’s why I chose to tell this particular friend)

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? Well, I don’t regret the hookup itself… But I do regret that I wanted so badly to have an orgasm, on which we wasted a lot of time while I still didn’t cum. Sigh. It could have been so much better, the stranger-fantasy is so exciting! I also regret saying something that gave him the impression that I wanted more than casual sex. This made it awkward when he left…

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I got bent over and fucked from the back by an almost-stranger, which was as hot as I had expected it to be.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? See ‘why do you regret this hookup?’

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It makes me wonder whether I can only have orgasms with guys I am more than casual with. I’ve had this thought before.
I still think the same about casual sex (also because I had casual sex again 2 days later which confirmed my initial ideas about it).

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? The week leading up to it was amazing. It was very exciting, it helped me through a few rough days (I was dealing with other issues), and it was great that this guy actually showed up at my door while he could have just went along with the fantasy and then diss me by not showing up – I think many guys would ‘chicken out’.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex is very important to me, it makes me happy (when it’s good and respectful). I’ve just ended a longterm monogamous relationship and sex/passion was one of the main themes leading to the breakup; my positive experiences with casual sex have confirmed to me that I made the right decision.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s great! Love reading the story’s, and writing one myself also helps me to process the experience.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!