What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 20
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? US
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student, tutor
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (open)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? I prefer men for romantic/dating relationships but I’m more attracted to women in general
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 8
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
A Highlight of My Freshman Year of College
How long ago did this hookup happen? About a year and a half ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? First of many, many awesome nights together, though it was a one-night stand at the time
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? So I’d met this guy technically months before, but it was quite brief and we didn’t really interact. The first time I actually hung out and got to know him was a week and a half before this happened. We had been hanging out with a mutual friend, just the three of us, and me and him just really hit it off. He was super hot and pretty much exactly the type of guy I like to go for, physically, but he also had this sexy charisma. He was charming and funny and we clicked well in conversation. I was a little worried that it was just flirting and nothing else, because he kind of had a reputation for being a flirt and kind of sleeping with everyone. To be honest, after that first time hanging out with him, I was totally crushing.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The week after we hung out the first time, we hung out again with the same mutual friend. This time our mutual friend brought her boyfriend with, so it felt a little like a double date. The four of us smoked a bunch of weed, watched netflix, and ordered pizza. I noticed that when he was sitting next to me, he was finding lots of excuses to be touching me. I made it clear that I liked it by kind of snuggling into him. I made up my mind that I would actively try to sleep with him next chance I got.
The weekend after that second hangout, we found ourselves at the same party (lots of mutual friends). I hadn’t known for sure if he’d be there, but I was hoping he would be — that was the only reason I wanted to go. Before he showed up, though, I was having a great time. A bunch of different guys were trying to flirt with me but I brushed off their advances even as I got drunk and then pleasantly crossed. By the time he got there, I was pretty gone but still functional enough. We hugged hello and from there he kind of had his arm around me. He kissed me on the cheek, asked if it was okay, and when I gave him an enthusiastic yes, he kissed me for real. It was in the kitchen, in front of a bunch of other people, but it was great.
Then, he left to go to the bathroom and this other guy kind of swooped in and started making out with me. I went along with it. Then he stopped, Guy #1 came back, and the 3 of us left. We walked Guy #2 back to his place, and though he tried and tried to get me to go up with him, I wasn’t down at all and took Guy #1 back to my place.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We were making out heavily every few feet on the walk back, and then when we got to my dorm room we started tearing each other’s clothes off like we’d been waiting for this for years. He was so sexy and I wanted him so bad. We started 69ing and he twisted my nipples and fingered me a ton while he ate me out. I was still kind of drunk but so was he (it was one of those situations). He was rough with me but in a good way — I’d never been able to get a guy to do stuff like that to me before. He finally entered me and we were on the bed, then the floor, then the bed again. There was a lot of kissing and he ended up leaving hickies all over my neck. It was by far the best sex I’d had in months. We also forgot to use a condom, which was stupid but felt fantastic.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We were both still a little too drunk to finish, but we fell asleep spooning. It felt completely natural and good. The next morning we woke up and cuddled and made out before I had to rush off to work. At that point, I had a crush on him, but I knew I didn’t want a boyfriend since my previous bf and I had split only a few months prior to this. We talked about it and decided to keep things casual but also implied that we both wanted to do it again. He kissed me goodbye.
He’s officially been my boyfriend for over a year now and I’m very much in love with him.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) IUD (Intrauterine device)
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Intoxication, Submission / Relinquishing power, Making new friends
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told my best friend the next day and she was like, “Dude, nice!!”
Since then I’ve told basically all my friends this story because it’s one of my crazier stories.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? He was so good in bed and I’d wanted him so badly. It was a huge release of sexual tension on both sides and that made the sex even better.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? We were both a little too messed up to be at our best, and I don’t remember it as well as I’d like to.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It’s definitely turned me onto more casual sex, since that’s the kind of sex I still have outside of our relationship. This was the first really awesome one night stand I’d had. I think it helped that I’d gotten to know him a little before that though.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? So we kept hooking up for several months pretty much every weekend. We also started seeing each other more and more in the day time and just talking and getting to know each other. Last summer I realized I’d fallen for him and asked him if he’d want to be my boyfriend (otherwise planning to cut things off). He was totally down, and now we have this amazing, loving relationship that isn’t sexually exclusive and works great for both of us. We were both reluctant to get into a relationship officially, I think because neither of us wanted to be monogamous, and after a few months together we discussed it and now we’re where we want to be.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I’ve had three casual sex partners since him and those guys have been fun, too. But I really like being with him in a relationship and having a lot of sex with him because sex + love is amazing. What really ticks me off is the fact that open relationships aren’t more talked about and accepted. I feel somewhere between lucky and guilty that I get to enjoy guys and girls I’m not dating and still come home to the guy I love — but only a few people can know about my more casual encounters. I’d love to see casual sex become more accepted, both for single people and those in non-monogamous relationships. I also think we women and queer people have it harder in the casual sex department and that needs to change too.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Yay!
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