by Hanna

Gender: female
Age: 19
Race/ethnicity: British [black]
Location: london
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Relationship status: In a “relationship”
Religious affiliation: none
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

His first…

How long ago did this hookup happen? two months ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? fuck buddy

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He’s tall, caucasian, brown eyes, dark hair, great smile. he found me on a chatroom that i use to go on when i use to get bored so i’d just talk to people to pass time, not to actually look for someone or get anything out of these conversations. so we spoke and then he gave me his number the same night so we could keep in touch. he saw my picture and was surprised and really liked the look of me and i found him attractive too, and found him absolutely lovely in general. just a nice guy, same age as me, who’s a student as well.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I didn’t think about him sexually really, until he made it clear fairly early on getting to know him that he wanted to sleep with me. i was a little taken back but ok with it. he’s cute and nice so why not? 
we kept messaging and still found him cool, so we planned when we were both free and it must’ve been a month later or something when we actually met up. he’d slept with more people than me and told me that he’d never slept with a black girl before (didn’t understand why it was a big deal though) which made me feel a little pressured, and he was so excited about it he would keep telling me this – but i overthink a little, but when it came closer to the time i was actually pretty calm. i guess i get anxious? so he travelled to me, i met him at the station, we hugged, walked back to my dorm room – still calm. we both sat down on my bed and greeted each other properly with a kiss.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? first off we started kissing and he caressed my boobs, he took my top off and lay me down. we continued making out, he removed the rest of my clothes basically. he began to bite and suck my nipples and finger me at the same time and i loved it. he went down on me and i went down on him, i’d lick up his torso and suck his fingers and he would lick my ear – at first i thought it was weird but then it started to feel nice. there was quite a lot of spanking and squeezing as well as banter in-between. it was just really nice, chill yet a passionate time. although i found it slightly weird because he would have sex me as if we were together, which i haven’t experienced before with someone i  was equally attractive to so it was a nice surprise. and i was showered with compliments throughout the night, and touched in all the right ways and places – just pretty perfect really. i simply felt wanted but it felt different this time and that made me happy. there was this one point when we were lying down and he told me how he didn’t understand how i was single “surely you’d just sleep with a guy and that’d be it” i think that’s when i realised that i might’ve liked him slightly more than i thought, i had gotten that line from other guys too which always frustrated me because they were never the ones to actually ask me out. so i got a little annoyed about that comment but quickly brushed it off, made a joke out of it and changed the subject. i didn’t orgasm but i’m ok with that as long as i pleased him the best i could. it ended with us snuggled into each other naked under my duvet, talking about whatever, occasionally kissing and eventually falling asleep.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? condoms. we didn’t discuss sti history though..had other things in mind. but obviously should have now that i think about it.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? we wanted each other badly.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? he had a little to drink before he met me but was basically sober by the time he got to me, i was completely sober.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? In the morning we cuddled each other and spooned, which turned into a make-out session. and i gave him a hand job, he would lightly trace his finger tips all over my body and around my pussy which gave me tingles and got me wet. then he fingered me, whilst licking, biting and sucking my nipples it was the best. then i gave him multiple blow jobs (i don’t what it was about him, but he must’ve done something right because i’ve never given that much head ever!), then we snuggled again and eventually it was time for him to leave so i walked him to the station and gave me a kiss goodbye. when i got back to my room i had to think if i actually liked this guy or was i just feeling this way because i just had sex with him. so i gave it a week and all i could think about was him, it was ridiculous. i had slept with other guys and had fun but didn’t have feelings for them when they left. with this guy the feeling was strong, i knew i had to have him – he was perfect for me after all. we would message each other here and there still clearly attractted to each other and agreed to definitely meet up again. soon enough i figured if he was interested in me the way i was with him it would be obvious so it was a pity so decided not to get hung up on him and pursued to find someone of my own and i did. 

and a couple of days later from just being asked to be someone’s girlfriend out of the blue i get a text from him asking if i want to meet up again, it was tempting but i told him everything and he was understanding. i also told him that it’d probably be best that i didn’t sleep with him again anyway, just to not catch those feelings again and he was surprised about it and asked me he thought it was just casual. and of course it was at the beginning but i just answered back that it still was, and he still made it clear that he wanted to sleep with me again. he has this light hold over me, that i’ll probably get over some day but he’ll never be forgotten. i kinda think of him as the guy i should be with but …if it’s not meant to be i won’t ever force it.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A few of my friends, only because i hadn’t felt this strongly about someone in a looong time and i didn’t really know what to do about it. they were just as shocked but happy for me.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? wanted experience from both of us.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? nope.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? the best thing about this is, i think personally it is the best i’ve ever performed. but the worst thing was that it made me realise that i was kinda lonely and made me not want to be single anymore. and now that i’m not, i can’t sleep with him again.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!