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What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 29
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Brooklyn, NY
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Media
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Gay/lesbian
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Gay
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? About 30
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Hometown gay group sex

How long ago did this hookup happen? About a year ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Group sex

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I hadn’t hooked up with any of the three guys, but knew two of them fairly well, from the same extended social circle. One of the guys was an ex of my ex’s old roommate, and I had wanted to suck him off for several years, but wasn’t sure how to engineer it because of the overlapping social relationships. He was tall, slim, toned and handsome, with smiling eyes and a really big dick. I had hooked up with his ex casually about a year before, after they had broken up, and enjoyed it, but was also relieved it had not gone any further. The other two guys in the foursome were in an open relationship with each other, and I had not been that sexually interested in either before the evening in question.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The hookup happened at a house in my hometown. I was home for a little under a week to say hi before moving away for a postgrad degree. On the night in question I had been out for dinner with a group of friends, and after the meal, we had gone to a bar nearby. Over several bottles of wine, the evening became quite flirtatious, and I started to think I would hook up with this guy who I had had my eye on for several years. When the bar closed, a gay couple I had come to know during intermittent trips home who had also been at the bar suggested we go to their house for more drinks. Because the guy I wanted to hook up with agreed, I did, too. In the cab, I started to wonder whether we would have group sex (I’d never done it before and had never really considered if I ever would, but the thought was appealing). At their house, one of our hosts went into the kitchen to make drinks. While he was gone, I started to hook up on the couch with the guy I had been flirting with. Our drink-making host’s boyfriend who was sitting by us then nudged in, and the three of us started to hook up on the couch. After a short while, they both stripped me down to my underwear, but they remained clothed. When the fourth guy returned with the drinks, he sat them down on the coffee table and watched. After lots of mouth-kissing, the three of us got naked and started to take turns to go down on each other, with the fourth guy watching, sitting opposite on the couch.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? From the lounge room, we migrated into the couple’s bedroom. By now, the fourth guy had stripped too and was joining in. The guy I had been flirting with earlier in the evening started to anally fuck our drink-making host’s boyfriend, while I sucked off the drink-maker. Watching the two guys fucking while I was sucking off the other dude was sexually gratifying. We swapped around after a time, and at one point, I sucked the guy I had been flirting with while the drink-fixer licked out my ass and his boyfriend sucked my dick. We swapped around in several different contortions for a while. I didn’t participate in anal sex but gave and received oral from all the other participants. Eventually, I came on one of the guys’ chests while he watched me stroke. After a time, we all kind of passed out in the bed (it was pretty sweaty and crowded.) Overall, the interactions were cheeky, friendly, and flirtatious. I enjoyed being watched while I was sucking and getting sucked off.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? In the morning, I woke up first (I had set an alarm on my phone). I clambered over all the naked bodies, collected my clothes from the other room, and limped out to call a cab, trying not to wake anyone up. Later in the morning, I texted back and forth with two of the other three guys, agreeing it had been a hot experience. Most of my friends with whom we had been out earlier in the night had found out by that evening. I felt a bit guilty but would do it again if offered the chance.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Intoxication, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? A little bit

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but didn’t give a ‘no’

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Most of my friends who had been out with us earlier in the night found out. I hadn’t told any of them, but I guess our departure in the cab from the bar was a giveaway. I think a lot of people were surprised it had happened, but in general were nonjudgmental. I haven’t told many people, but those I have told have enjoyed the story, but worry the oral sex with multiple partners was a bit of a risk.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, I would have group sex again now.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex has been an important part of my own process of coming to grips with my homosexuality. It has enabled me to be sexually expressive and to have intimacy with other men without being in long-term relationships. I have had to learn to manage causal sex and to curtail my desire for it while in monogamous relationships (I’ve been in four, of varying lengths). In general, I think there is too much pressure on gay men in my entitled, well-supported social circle to engage in casual sex. I am so happy to live at a place and time where same-sex attracted men can engage in casual sex safely without fear of persecution.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Interesting endeavor – although I doubt the self-reporting leads to statistically relevant data?

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!