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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 29
What’s your race/ethnicity? South Asian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Canada
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Teacher
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (open)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Bi-curious
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? <15
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Horny in Amsterdam

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 weeks ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? My partner was a heterosexual male (Turkish origin), a little shorter than myself (I’m 160cm), and had a fit physique (he definitely worked out). He spoke French and German and had a strong accent when speaking in English. I met him one night out in Amsterdam at a weed cafe where we both shared a table and struck up a conversation since we were both from out of town and traveling through the city at the time. We had a really fun evening out that didn’t comprise of any flirting or sexual advances. We spoke about whatever we wanted, had a lot of laughs and he took me to a really cool weed cafe in Amsterdam I didn’t know about, and even helped me roll my first joint. I felt a strong attraction to him at the end of the night and we exchanged Instagram accounts before parting ways for the night. We didn’t hook up the first night.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The hook-up happened at my hotel room the night after we met. I messaged him on Instagram inviting him over to my hotel to smoke some weed and hang out. It was instigated completely by me, he was quite surprised when I told him I wanted to have sex with him. Before he got to my hotel, I went out and bought a pack of condoms and showered and changed before he arrived. We were smoking a joint together outside my hotel when I told him I wanted to have sex with him.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? The hookup wasn’t anything out of the ordinary – we started kissing, undressing each other, moved to the bed and I pulled out the pack of condoms. He first tried to finger me but I really wanted to be fucked since I hadn’t had sex in over a month as I was traveling for work and really needed a dick inside me at that moment. We had penetrative intercourse for a while that did satisfy me, but I did not orgasm (I normally need clitoral stimulation to orgasm.) When he pulled out to switch up positions, there was blood on the condom and I had just gotten my period (it wasn’t due). I felt super embarrassed but he was really nice about it. He took the condom off and gave himself a hand job till he ejaculated on me. Afterwards we lay in bed and spoke and laughed about the whole period thing before he got up to shower.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After he showered, I took a shower, we spoke about the rest of our trip in Amsterdam and he left before 11 pm. I went out to buy a pack of pads and came back and went to bed. I didn’t feel any particular way about the hookup the next day. I told my primary partner back home about it the next day and we talked about how I felt. We had discussed that it’d be okay if I hooked up with someone while I was away on this work trip before I left, so there were no hurt or awkward feelings about it. There were no hopes or expectations with this person – I just wanted to get laid because I was really horny and it’d be a few weeks before I was going back home. I thought he was a really nice guy and I had a lot of fun with him, and that’s pretty much it. I still feel the same way about him now.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have

How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Marijuana, hashish

How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Marijuana, hashish

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? A little bit

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My primary partner back home. They were glad I had fun and we talked about what the experience was like for me emotionally and physically.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? No strings attached. I was in a foreign place and this was a guy from a completely different part of the world from where I live and there was no chance that I’d ever actually meet him or have to see him again or have any sort of expectations.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I got my period while having sex.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not really, I do feel more desirable after it though.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think casual sex is great and should be more readily practised by couples in relationships ( such as myself.) I think the idea that only single people engage in casual sex is outdated and more happy couples need to embrace the idea of consensual non-monogamy to keep their primary relationships healthy. In my relationship, casual sex has allowed my partner and I to communicate our needs and expectations from one another that otherwise may never have been addressed. It has definitely benefitted my relationship with my primary partner of 6 years now.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Awesome idea, that’s why I’m contributing!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!

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