by TP

Gender: Female
Age: Twenties
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Location: California
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? Zero

Horny Old Men

How long ago did this hookup happen? current

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? sexual favors

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He’s old. Ugly, looks like a squid. Caucasian, bald, I’m pretty sure he has fake teeth. Not at all attractive. Never felt attracted to him, always had a working friendship with him (previous co-worker). Found out he just wanted sex–not friendship.
He likes my mind, I’m all business. I don’t seek pleasure.
He’s annoying, plays the drums and whenever I just wanted to listen to music he would start hitting something “to the beat”. Just annoying. 
He tells me he loves me and I don’t respond. He says we were destined for each other, I don’t respond. He tells me he wants to have kids with me, I don’t respond.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We were friends, we would go out to dinner every so often. I wanted to learn about the stock market and he said he would show me how to invest/watch investments. 
He’s tried it before and I tell him no or don’t respond. He starts massaging me, then touching me, then kissing me, etc. It’s annoying. I stop it because I’m not interested and the thought to touch his body makes me grossed out.
I went over a little over a month ago. He did it again and I just felt annoyed that he would try, so I just let it happen.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He starts by massaging me, then touching me, then kissing me, then going down on me, then getting a vibrator and me telling him 10 times to get a condom. I would prefer him to just do the deed and get it over with. I’m not going down on him, I’m doing him a favor, so why should I do anything more than that. He’s snorts when he goes down on me. I’m not turned on from the beginning, but this makes me so annoyed to listen to I just try to think of something else. Luckily now I have a vibrator that I use and it takes away from his sound and let’s me enjoy at least a little bit of the process. 
Even if I say do something, he won’t do it. He just wants to do what he wants to do. Even if it has zero effect on me.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? I remind him at least 30 times each time to get a condom. He tells me he is clean all the time. I am clean. I don’t want him inside me without a condom, at all. It pisses me off that it “slips off” all the time. I will push him off me and be angry if he does it now. I am so over him not putting on a condom and telling me he has it on. Then assuring me, I’m clean, I’m clean. That’s not acceptable.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? None. I didn’t want it. I still don’t.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Wine. Not a lot. Maybe two glasses. He offers me drugs, but I would never consider taking any.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I took a shower, finished my wine and left. I’m annoyed, It’s stupid. I just wanted it to be over. I think he’s a sleaze who thinks with his head and not his head. And I feel as if my two year friendship was meaningless.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one. It’s gross to me.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? I guess it would be, if he wore a condom. Although I never wanted it and am not happy for it. I just feel guilty. This happens often.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I suppose, but it happens.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Nothing. He does nothing for me, doesn’t care about me and has been trying to be controlling in my friendship. His friendship doesn’t mean anything for me to hold on to. So it’s just meaningless.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? Stand up for yourself. Don’t let things happen just because they are happening. Even if you don’t feel as if you have the power to stop things, fight. Fake it until you make it. Don’t allow yourself to be powerless.

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