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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 28
What’s your race/ethnicity? Black
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? U.S.
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Very
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 50-ish
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 1

The Hot 30-Second Man

How long ago did this hookup happen? 4 months ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met “Brian” on Tinder. His pictures looked decent…white guy, brown hair, nice smile, chiseled abs. He looked happy and in shape in his pics, but he didn’t initially stand out to me as super hot, just cute.

Our first date was at a popular bar/restaurant. His surfer-dude, laid back voice is what caught my attention first, and I later told him I liked that it was unique. His mannerisms also stood out; he often rested his elbow on the table while lowering his head to run his fingers through his hair. When he talked, he rarely gave me direct eye contact (he admitted that was a bad habit of his). He also maintained a cool, boyish smile when he talked. The opposite of a resting bitch face, he had a resting smiling face. All of this made him appear very relaxed and comfortable.

He looked even better in person. He was around 5’10”-5’11″…one or two inches taller than me. He had brown eyes, a cute nose, and straight teeth. His skin was fairly tan and his build appeared average, as he was dressed modestly in a collared button down shirt. He was 32, but could easily pass for 25.

He used sarcasm and self-deprecating humor to make me laugh. It let me know that he didn’t take himself too seriously. We talked about our jobs at first. I educated him a bit about speech pathology and he educated me on pharmacy, as he was a pharmacist. At one point he was telling me how alcohol was a “GABA agonist” and then stopped and said he didn’t want to bore me. I told him, “It’s ok, you can talk nerdy to me.” He cocked his head a bit and stared at me with that open-mouthed smile, searching my eyes for a sign that my dirty play on words was intentional.

The more we talked, the more attractive he became. Hot, funny, smart with a great career…I had hit the jackpot! I was so sexually attracted by this point that I looked up from my beer glass and gave him the “fuck me” eyes while I took a long sip. The gaze was held for 3-4 seconds, long enough for him to get the idea. Over my glass I could see that he was studying me intently as his eyes lit up, highly intrigued. I loved how animated and honest his face was. When I finally set the glass down, I broke eye contact and smiled a little to myself, since I figured I had this guy now wrapped around my finger.

By the end of the date, he was cracking sarcastic jokes and following them with “I’m just kidding!” since my serious reactions were probably written all over my face. He picked up my hand and kissed it several times while we laughed together. He asked me what I was doing afterward, and I said I was going home. He studied me again to see if I was serious (which I was), and his face showed his reluctant acceptance.

As we walked out, he placed his hand on the small of my back. When we got to my car, I leaned against it and he asked “Can I kiss you?” I laughed at how adorable this was, and I was relieved that he showed respect by asking first, unlike many men who think they’re entitled to a kiss. I told him he could, but only after all the people in the parking lot dissipated, since I don’t like PDA. I apologized for making it awkward, and he said he thought it was cute.

When we kissed, his lips were surprisingly soft and able to handle my full lips. We kissed for a while without tongue, while I held onto his waist and playfully rocked his body back and forth so that our crotches bumped against each other. It was honestly like a magnetic attraction. We took a break from kissing and I noticed hardness in his waist area.

“What’s that?!”
“What’s what?”
“Your waist…it’s so tight and muscular!”

Then I felt his abs through his shirt and it was the most chiseled 6-pack I’d ever felt. I remember the shirtless pic on his profile (taken at an athletic event, not a douchey mirror pic), but actually touching it made it seem so much better. I asked him how he got that body and he said he wrestled in high school and it just stayed.

We started kissing again and he eventually pulled away to leave and I said, “You don’t really wanna stop,” and he said, “No, I don’t” and leaned back in for one last kiss. When I turned around to open my car door, he smacked my ass and I told him I liked that.

The next day he texted me that he couldn’t wait to see me again. I told him I wasn’t down for Netflix and chill just yet, so he suggested dinner a few days from then. Dinner was pretty uneventful. I was nervous now that I liked him, so I was conscious of my every move. This time around he wore a fitted black tee that showed off his arm muscles. After we ate, we walked back to my car mostly in silence, but when we got there we kissed and touched each other like the other day. This time our crotches stayed pressed against each other, and I said, “It just feels natural.” He responded with a simple, “Yeah.” I touched his stomach through his shirt again, but I teased that I couldn’t feel the abs this time. He let me feel around his stomach for a few more seconds before finally yanking his shirt up to reveal his now flexed abs. “Wow!” I exclaimed, and I felt them some more. I jokingly told him I had toned abs too (not chiseled like his, but I’m slim and athletically built). I guided his thumbs up and down my midsection, which was only a few inches in length as I was wearing high waisted jeans, and my D cup breasts were blocking him from moving up further. We kissed some more and I turned around to fumble in my purse for my keys. I pressed my ass against his crotch and his dick was hard. He said my ass was “pretty spectacular” and in one rapid motion, he groped my ass, crotch, and tits. I swiftly turned around and feigned offense. He tried to stall and see if I was open to coming over that night by repeatedly saying, “Bye” yet still standing in front of me to wait for my response. I reluctantly let him leave, as I wanted to play by the “proper” dating rules.

We didn’t talk much for the next couple weeks, but he sent me a text that said, “Sorry, life got in the way.” By this time I had grown anxious since he didn’t seem as excited about me as he did at first. I really wanted to fuck him though (and perhaps get him interested in me again), so a week or two later I sent him a text that said, “I have a 4 day weekend…you wanna help make it more fun?” Within 10 seconds he responded with “Yes I do!” I suggested that we hit the pool.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The pool was at his house, and he asked me to pick up some rum for mojitos on my way there. It threw me off a bit that he would ask me to buy something, so I told him that since I was doing this favor, our time together better be worth it. He responded, “Will be!”

When I got there I greeted him with a hug and he kissed me on my neck. I was wearing a loose tank top with the back out so my bikini strings showed, and booty shorts. When I peeled off my top he came over and gently smacked and grabbed my ass, and kissed my back. Then he went inside to make the mojitos. When he returned and handed me my drink, he walked over to his phone to switch his playlist to hip-hop. I watched him, as this was the most of his body I’d seen so far. He was flawless…toned but not bodybuilder-like…broad shoulders and back…runner’s calves. He also had thick fingers and toes. He was pure hotness, and the perfect amount of masculine. His swim trunks hung low to reveal a bit of his pubic hair, which was groomed nicely. In the pool, he climbed on the floatie (after I declined to use it). We chatted about music and pop culture and hobbies and he floated over to me every so often to kiss me. He kept me laughing with his jokes per usual. At one point I noticed him staring at me behind his sunglasses in a sort of trance until he literally shook his head out of it.

Eventually he got off the floatie and we stood face to face, talking. He stared downward for a few seconds, trying to get a peek of my pussy, as my bikini bottoms sat super low. We started kissing and he picked up one of my legs. I lifted the other leg and wrapped them around his waist. He started walking and I tightened my legs’ grip around him so I could cross my ankles. He groaned at the pressure and set me down on the large step/seat in the pool. We continued to kiss and then he climbed up to sit behind me.

He started tracing my jawline with his fingers while we talked. Then he lifted my head towards him and stuck his tongue deep in my mouth…that was the most passion I’d seen from him so far. He pulled my bikini top outward to try to get a peek of my tits, but he couldn’t see anything since my top covered my cleavage and was pretty modest. He slowly pulled at the strings until my top was undone at the waist. He reached around and once he felt my tits he said he was surprised they were that big. He got up and came down to stand in front of me so he could get a better look. My top was still tied around my neck, so it was hanging between my breasts. He sucked on my nipples very gently…almost a little too gently, like he was scared or something.

He sat behind me again and guided my hand to his hard dick. I felt it up and down and it was about 6-7 inches with a nice thickness. I complimented him on its size. He reached under my bottoms to touch my clit. This touch was also very light. My clit is extremely sensitive, so as soon as I felt his finger I threw my head back and started breathing heavily. He immediately took his hand away, which was odd to me.

He stood up and suggested we go inside. We dried off and I followed him, trying to hold my swimsuit pieces against my body, as they were now falling off me since he had loosened all the strings. He wanted to head to his bedroom, but I wanted us to take our time (plus I wanted to finish my second drink first), so we sat in the living room. He laid on the couch and I straddled him and sipped my beer. His erection was tucked in the waistband of his shorts. I set my beer down, untied my top around my neck and tossed it to the side so my breasts were completely exposed. He immediately sat up and murmured, “They’re so nice” and sucked my nipples lightly again. He laid back down and rubbed my ass. I told him to grip it and he smacked it with both hands instead (even better) and I moaned. He rested his hand behind his head while he admired me. He looked so masculine and exquisite. I stroked his dick and squeezed out some precum. While stroking I glanced at him and nervously said, “Geez Brian, have you ever considered modeling?” He continued to stare at me smiling without saying a word. I remained on top of him for a few more moments awkwardly, as I didn’t know if he wanted me to do something or just wanted to look at me. I’m not used to initiating sex. I was ready to head to the bedroom after awhile. He headed there first and got under the covers naked and waited for me to use the bathroom.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I walked in the room naked and climbed in bed and we made out. I noticed his dick had softened, so I gave him head. I licked up and down the sides to wet it first, then took a little in my mouth at a time. I used my hands while I sucked, and my mouth made suction noises in the otherwise quiet room. His dick was hard again and I swirled my tongue around the tip and licked the shaft once more. When I came up he said, “You’re good,” with a bigger smile than usual.

He wanted me to start off on top and I asked him if he had any condoms, scanning his room. He said “Nah, sorry,” and I rolled my eyes and sighed. I told him he would need to pull out since I wasn’t on birth control, and he told me he knew what he was doing. I tried to lower my pussy onto his dick, but I was struggling since it had been awhile since I’d last had sex and I was tight. I was expecting him to help me out by pushing his hips upward or something, but after just lying there watching me struggle, he flipped me over onto my back in one swift motion (I guess that was the high school wrestling kicking in).

He entered me in missionary and watched my face for my reaction. He began to stroke a bit cautiously and slowly, without any particular steadiness or rhythm. It seemed like he either had little experience or was extremely nervous about pleasing me. I was breathing heavily because of the sheer size of his dick. He went deeper, and suddenly he thrust into me as deep as possible and held his dick there. I gasped and held my mouth open as we stared at each other for a few seconds. When he finally went back to stroking and I caught my breath, I said “You trying to go deep in this pussy?” He paused then responded, “Mmhmm.” Literally 2-3 seconds after that he pulled out and came on my stomach. His semen appeared very healthy, from the color to the large amount that shot from his dick in spurts. The intercourse lasted 30 seconds tops.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I gave him the benefit of the doubt and considered it a first-time slip-up. He joked, “Well that was like 4 minutes.” (Not quite, sweetheart, but I’ll let that slide). I laughed and replied that it was cool. I tried not to appear upset or annoyed. He then completely ignored me and played fantasy football for awhile. I eventually got out my phone and entertained myself with it (he asked me what was so fascinating on my phone, ironically). I was hoping that after a break, he’d be able to go another round. At one point I got up and explored his room to learn a bit more about him. I checked out his closet and saw his doctorate degree on a desk. I rejoined him in bed and he soon randomly started complaining about his female roommate, whom he used to hook up with…he even referred to her as a bitch. Weird. Later on I hopped back on top of him excitedly and suggested another round, but his dick remained limp and he just laid there like he knew he had nothing left. When I was ready to leave, I got dressed in front of the mirror. He told me my shorts made my ass look good, and that he liked my long braids.

Long story short, we didn’t text much but he did ask to see me again and we fucked one more time a couple weeks later. It was almost the EXACT same scenario in bed…no condoms, very little foreplay, me giving unreciprocated head, him commenting that my tits were “so nice”, me struggling to sit on his dick, him flipping me over into missionary, him cumming after 20-30 seconds. But this time he came even harder…his semen shot from my stomach up to my collarbone. “Damn,” I remarked, and he laughed. I squeezed out the last bits of his cum while cupping his balls, which made him moan. He claimed it was my scream that made him cum so fast. I was highly annoyed this time and reached for my phone to reply to some texts…I didn’t care to be discreet or respectful as I knew he didn’t give a shit about me. He all but kicked me out, making up some excuse about going for a run in a few minutes.

Despite him acting like an asshole, I still wanted a chance to have some decent sex with him so that I could at least show off my skills, but he ignored my texts.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? This was the sexiest man (physically and personality-wise, until he showed his jerkish ways) that I’ve ever hooked up with. In the beginning he was someone I could envision dating seriously. Also the pool thing was fun and a first for me.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That it didn’t last longer and I didn’t get to get into the groove with him. Also, how hurt I was afterward, and that I didn’t get the closure I needed. If I’d known he would cum so fast, I would’ve made an effort to help him last longer (e.g., bringing condoms, telling him to masturbate beforehand, communicating more, toning down the dirty talk, actually starting off on top).

To this day I don’t know if he had a condition of premature ejaculation, or if he was just too aroused or anxious. Maybe I was his first black girl (or just generally hot in his eyes) and that made him more excited or nervous. Whatever it was, it baffled me that a 30-something, extremely attractive man would have the sex skills of a virgin. His behavior during and after the hookups was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.

Yet I craved him for months afterward, willing to sacrifice my dignity and disregard all his flaws. I think it was my ego not wanting to accept the harsh rejection. But writing this story has been a good outlet, and it’s helping me get over him.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I think I have to be more honest with myself about what I really want from a person. For me, it’s best to have casual sex with a man who isn’t boyfriend material, but still shows me basic respect.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex is nice when nothing else is expected from it.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s great!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!