by Ivy Getty
What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 26
What’s your race/ethnicity? Mixed / Multiracial
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? England
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Music Agent
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 10
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 8 months
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Im from London, but was working in Florida for 2 months, leaving my boyfriend of 8 years behind.
After a month and a half, I started to go a bit crazy, missing home, friends, boyfriend, working 14 hour days… And so i downloaded Tinder. More just out of boredom than anything, wanting to chat to people, and wanting a bit of attention. If there was some kind of ‘platonic only’ version, I would have gone for that instead – it definitely never even crossed my mind that I might actually meet anyone from it. So i was chatting to a few guys, but one of them stuck out. he was a couple of years younger than me, blonde, tanned, muscley, in a band. NOT my usual type – i mean his profile had pictures of him smoking a bowl for gods sake totally juvenile and the type of person I’d laugh at back home. but hot in an exotic, American kind of way. But we started talking, I explained that i was an English girl and didn’t really know the area, and he offered to take me out paddle boarding. And for some reason, I agreed.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? A couple of days later I found myself getting ready at my hotel, waiting for him to come and pick me up. I walked up to his car parked outside (a huge American truck type thing, definitely added to the whole American fantasy). I jumped in, and he was cute, looked like his pictures. Started smoking, clearly pretty nervous. We chatted, mostly about the obvious stuff – the difference between England and America, nothing mind blowing – to be honest he didn’t seem particularly bright. But he took me out to this insane little island on our boards (balancing red plastic cups filled with some gross rum punch – again so exotic), and it was kind of perfect. Sun setting, little raccoons snuffling around, no one else there. But it started raining and we had to get back to the main land. We were totally soaked by the time we made it to his truck, and the ice had definitely been broken. And i was pretty drunk and stoned… He drove us to a little dive bar, (saw dust on the floor, country music on the duke box – totally perfect), where we proceeded to get utterly hammered, chatting shit to each other, flirting heavily.
I decided it was time to go home and he dropped me off at my hotel (drunk driving somehow never crossed my mind, looking back, ridiculous). he went in for kiss, and i coiled back, remembering my boyfriend back home. But as he made a joke to break the awkward moment, i basically pounced on him, so weird to kiss someone new after so long. But so incredibly hot. He asked if he could come up to my room, and I said no. I got out of the car and went in, waiting for the lift. Got up to my room, feeling something between numb, guilty and incredibly turned on. And 2 seconds later i was calling him, ‘come up, now. Room 213’. I thought i was in a film or something.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He came up, and i opened the door. he shoved me against the wall and started kissing me, total bliss. But then he started taking his clothes off, which i found kind of weird. Shouldn’t he be taking my clothes off? But i kind of stopepd caring when he picked me up and chucked me on teh bed. Id seen his body earlier, stocky, muscular, not very hairy, but was kind of eager to see his cock- i know most American guys are circumscised, and id never seen one before. It was kind of like him, tanned, and thick. he finally started to take my clothes off, said he liked my little pink nipples, my big butt. But he seemed kind of surprised by my pubes ‘dont guys go down on girls in Britain?’ Uhhhh…. We started having sex and i was being kind of porny in a way i never am with my boyfriend. Spitting on his cock and looking up at him while i gave him head. Lots and lots of eye contact. And he talked the whole time, which Id never have before, and it drove me kind of wild, especially with his accent. It just sounded so intensely dirty. He didn’t make me come that first time, but over the next three weeks he came over everyday and we’d have sex 2 or 3 times (I NEVER go for round 2 with my boyfriend. i dont know, i guess we normally just go to sleep…) Even on my period (HUGE mess for the cleaner to get out of the sheets. Sorry). But for the whole time i acted liek someone else, I was this idealised version of myself and I know he felt lucky to have snagged me for the time i was there. Again, an amazing escape and a massive turn on.
Id never considered myself that much of a sexual person, but something about this bonehead, who i had very little in common with, just drove me absolutely wild, and for those 3 weeks i was a total monster. We had sex in his car, on a seawall, at a taco bell, in the swimming pool.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? When i got back to the UK i was kind of distraught, and hugely uninterested in my boyfriend. We did lots of secret phone sex for maybe 2 months, I even considered flying back out for a couple of weeks… but in the end it fizzled out. I should have felt a lot guiltier than i did.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Intoxication, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? One friend, months after when the guilt started… a friend i knew would be supportive of my indiscretion…
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The feeling i was someone else completely.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Because it was so repeated i started to mix up feelings of sexual attraction with something more.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? So much.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I really, really wish id had or. BUt not convinced id be good at a one night stand without getting emotionally invloved.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? So Affirming!
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