What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? East Asian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Canada
Highest education received: High school diploma
What’s your occupation? Traveller
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? I am against sex. I decided not to have sex anymore 2 years ago.
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? Zero

I Betrayed Myself

How long ago did this hookup happen? Yesterday

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He is my friend’s husband. They have two boys. Yesterday was the third time I saw him. The second time I saw him, there was some debate between me and him. His opinion was terrible to me, so I decided not to be close to him.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? My friend invited me to their housewarming party. We drank a lot of tequila and smoked cigarettes. I was trying to stop smoking but when I drink, I smoke. So that cigarette made me more drunk. When the other guests left and my friend went to bed, he told me that he was going to smoke the last time. When we smoked, I sat on the table and he was standing between my legs. I don’t know why, I just felt comfortable.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He kissed me, I kissed him. I made him stop and said we better not be doing it. And he kissed me, I kissed him again. After all I just grabbed my bag and came right out. He came out and kissed me again in front of the door and then I left. He wanted to give me a ride but I said don’t do anything.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I was originally scheduled to leave this town in a few months, but I want to leave now. I hope not to think about it forever and don’t contact with them until the very end.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Plan B / Emergency contraception

What were your motives for this hookup? Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it

How intoxicated were you? Blacked out / Passed out

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Completely wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave a clear ‘no’

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Very much

Why do you regret this hookup? I betrayed my friend and myself

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Nothing

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Sex

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I’m not gonna date, sex, and drink anymore

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Very negative

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!