by John
Gender: Male

Age: 21
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Location: Canada
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Occupation: Student
Religious affiliation?: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Ignorance Is Bliss

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 months ago

How would you best classify this hookup? fuck-buddies

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was a year older than I was. We first met when I moved into residence at university, as she lived in the same one and was part of an executive team in charge of orientation for new students. Second semester of my first year she was a TA for my inorganic chemistry course. She was average height, and a touch on the heavier side. We had never hooked up before, and until the first night I had never even considered her as possible partner assuming that she wouldn’t be interested.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It was St. Patrick’s day which meant we were at a charity pancake kegger promptly at noon to begin drinking excessive quantities of green beer. We were chatting at the kegger, and after the kegs were dry, we went our separate ways to drink with our separate friend groups. Later we ran into each other at the campus pub, and among the screaming and drunken madness started dancing. I figured we’d dance and go our separate ways, as that seemed to be the pattern. We got closer and closer until I started to think she may want something more from me. I decided to bite the top of her ear as we danced dead center in the middle of crowd. This turned out to be a trigger as she instantly grabbed my hand and pulled me off the dance floor. I followed simply wondering if this was really happening.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We got undressed and immediately jumped into bed. I went down on her to buy myself some time to get hard as the excessive drinking had its usual undesired effect in that respect. Vaginal sex, missionary, like standard issue virgins. By no means the best sex of my life, but sex none the less. After we both grabbed a glass of water in hopes of helping our inevitable hangovers. We talked a little bit about the stupid things we saw drunk doing that day before falling asleep together.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? I wore a condom, and I get tested regularly as STIs terrify me. She assured me she was clean, but also wanted to use a condom.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Because why not. The opportunity presented itself and sex is a hard thing to say no to, despite how mundane the experience actually turned out to be.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? On my part it was essentially as much alcohol I could consume without vomiting everywhere. She was visibly drunk as well.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I assumed that this would be a one-night thing, but she texted me the morning after I left her apartment. Being a person not interested in forming a significant relationship, I had hoped this would be a one-night deal. We would text infrequently throughout the day, and one night on the weekend I would go over we’d have sex the same way. Everytime. We hooked up maybe once a week for the rest of the semester, as well as Convocation weekend, after she graduated. I like her, but at this point in time I just don’t want to be dating her, or anyone for that matter. We never talked about our relationship, we just let it happen. Small talk would be made, especially when we would see each other on campus. As this continued, I got the impression that she wanted this relationship to turn into a more committed one, however I knew the semester was ending and simply ignored the subject until after she had moved back home.

Full disclosure: I understand this was a really shitty thing for a person to do. I would have told her how I honestly felt if she brought it up, but I wasn’t going to be the one to initiate the conversation, especially when I figured she wouldn’t enjoy what I had to say.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? None of my friends know the details of this relationship. They just know we slept together on more than one occurrence.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was consensual 100%. She seemed to enjoy it, and would always be very happy when I could come over.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? The only reason I would regret this hookup is if she did. I’m perfectly content acknowledging that it happened and it’s over with if she is. But I’d feel bad if she had regrets about it and wish I could explain my perception of the relationship.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing about this hookup for me was the spontaneity of it. Previously I had displayed an evident lack of self-confidence, and knowing that this woman found me desirable was a boost. The worst part was the sex itself (as hard as I find it to type this). Looking back on it the sex was boring because it was the same thing over and over again. But in hindsight, given the lack of familiarity between us, it is understandable why this didn’t change. I learned that spontaneity and variation turn me on. Not variation in the sense of different partners, but in positions and exploration. I enjoy learning how to make sex more fun for my partner and really enjoy it when a new event excites them. Additionally although I’ve been sexually active for 3 years now, I feel there is still a number of things I could learn about my own sexual preferences that could benefit me.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? Texting essentially eliminated any face to face communication that happened to nights where we met up to have sex with each other, while keeping the stream of communication to mundane small talk and/or school related themes.

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