What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 35
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Sweden
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Artist
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 30 or so
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
I’m 35 and This Is My First Relationship with Actual Good Sex and It Goes Like This:
How long ago did this hookup happen? Last Week
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Not a hookup
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? My boyfriend. Brown eyes, slim, Slavic, hot as hell.
I would say that I know him pretty well. Met him on a dating site 1.5 years ago and been together since.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We were hanging on the couch watching the new Planet Earth and discussing things therein, and then when the series ended, we started kissing. Not sure who started but we were both looking forward to that moment.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? First, we made out and then he took me to the bedroom. He told me to put on a pair of thigh-highs and to spin around for him. Then he told me to get on the bed, and he cuffed my hand and feet, so I was spread-eagle. I like when he bosses me because I know he is always very considerate. Then he ate me out while I was still tied up until I came, and then I sucked him. After that, we had sex in missionary, cowgirl, doggy, all while he played with my butt. Then, he gave me a dildo to play with myself. While he jerked off, I kept playing with my butt, fondled his balls, and played with his butt until we both came.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We cuddled and talked about interesting science facts and about how the sex was. We are both pretty analytical, so we tend to evaluate positions and wishes and whatnot.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, Submission / Relinquishing power
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Marijuana, hashish
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Nobody except my boyfriend. My best friend is a straight guy, so I don’t feel right telling him about my sex life.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Being tied up and the thigh-highs. Not only do they make me feel sexy and attractive, but research has shown that people with socks on orgasm easier.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Writing about it, because my boyfriend is abroad for work and now I want him.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not specifically, but every time I have sex with him, it gives me new confidence in my own attractiveness
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I was late to the casual sex game. After having been a serial monogamist between ages 17 and 33, I spent a year dating and sleeping around. For me, that was an immensely valuable experience because it detached sex from having a relationship, so instead of feeling that I was supposed to have sex with someone, I could have sex only when I wanted to and have it be a fun activity, instead of a thing that has to be done to keep the peace. It also taught me a lot about what I like and how to communicate that. I think sex is a personal thing, and people should have the freedom to hook up or not hook up as much as they want, as long as it’s consensual.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Interesting!
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