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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 35
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Jacksonville
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Engineer
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (open)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Queer
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 62
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

In the orgy dome

How long ago did this hookup happen? 2014

What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually

How would you best classify this hookup? Group sex

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? My friend, a slim, white man with reddish brown hair, and I had known each other for about 10 years, first in a professional networking capacity and then as casual friends; in a series of events we ended up going to Burning Man together and on the premise that he couldn’t go into the orgy dome alone, I agreed to go with him. He was married and I wasn’t sure what kind of agreement he and his wife had (later, I would find out they have an open arrangement). He was attractive enough, but I didn’t really have romantic or sexual interest in him. We ended up having sex and he asked if we could join a couple who were near us. The couple were a thin, blonde, white man,mid-twenties, with a German accent, and a thin, brunette, white woman in her mid twenties with American accent.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I wasn’t planning on having sex when I went with my friend to the orgy dome, but watching other people have sex turned me on. My friend began touching me and it felt good, so I went with it.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? My friend and I had sex but he seemed a little distracted by the people around us. We asked a couple near us if they’d like us to join them. The man invited me to eat out his female partner with him and we took turns performing oral sex on her while my friend kissed and touched her. The blonde man and I began kissing and he asked for a condom. He and I had sex while my friend had sex with the woman. Afterward, the four of us were draped across each other and we exchanged names. The woman said “so that just happened” and her partner asked if it was the first time she’d had a foursome, she said it was, her partner and my friend said it was their first as well, and I said it was my first foursome to include men and we all laughed. My friend and I left shortly after and went back to our camp.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt fine. I still didn’t know what my friend’s situation was and we didn’t talk about it for awhile because we were surrounded by people for most of the week.
My friend and I slept together again a few months later but have not had an ongoing sexual relationship.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, IUD (Intrauterine device), Sterilization

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Friends and other partners. They enjoyed living vicariously.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was fun.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Having to use baby wipes to clean up afterward. It was Burning Man and there was limited water and it was around 3am.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not really. It wasn’t my first or my last group sex experience.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? No

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? It can be a lot of fun as long as everyone is on the same page. I enjoy it, though, sometimes men are lazy or selfish because they see it as a one-off and don’t spend time to make sure it’s gratifying for the other person. Sex is often framed from the male perspective with a focus on male orgasm—like sex only counting if there was penis in vagina penetration and it’s over when the man ejaculates. That’s pretty unfortunate.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s neat

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!