by Susan

Gender: Female
Age: 23
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Location: London
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Marketing
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20ish
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? One

Jewish to the Bone

How long ago did this hookup happen? A year ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Fuck-buddies

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met him outside my halls of residence at Uni. He was smoking and wearing a leather jacket. I was drunk, waiting for a taxi and on my way out. We got chatting about uni and about how I was going travelling and agreed to meet when I got back. 
He was a bit taller than me which I liked and had dark, roughed up hair. He also brought up that he was Jewish and it obviously played a big part in his outlook in all aspects of life. 
I thought he was attractive and that he was into me… which is always flattering!

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We agreed to meet when I got back. I thought we’d probably go grab a drink or something and talk. To be honest, it’d been a while since I’d seen him in person and I couldn’t really remember him properly. I went over to his and he was so odd! at one point he put on a fake horse head to scare one of his perplexed housemates. He had sonic the hedgehog everywhere (slippers, posters, soft toys… you get the idea). He also wasn’t the cocky angular person I remembered. He was more doughy in appearance… and personality. He went to kiss me and invited me (in a pretty formal manner) to lie on his bed with him though and I did. What can I say… I love kissing.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He told me he was really into feet. I hate feet. He also hated his own though apparently because he always refused to take off his socks. I refused to do anything with my feet the first time but as it became a more regular thing decided that you don’t know until you try it. Id rub them over his balls as he wanked or sit opposite him with a foot clasping each side of his cock saying dirty things while he watched in apparent amazement. Otherwise I’d run my toes up the back of his neck while he fucked me. Apparently I’m pretty good with my feet. Who’d have guessed ay?! 

He was awkward and going through the motions usually. He also had a real issue with oral sex. I didn’t think it was possible to not be able to do it until he’d tried a few times. I took pleasure in the fact that I was more experienced though, more sexual and was in control of the situation. All in all, it was a bit like eating a rice cracker when you’re hungry – it stopped the hunger, but wasn’t particularly satisfying. 
He’d slump over to my side after and start chatting enthusiastically about Muse, gaming… or most regularly of all about being Jewish. I have no issue with any person from any background, but I swear this guy was obsessed! Every aspect of his life was dictated by his jewishness. He would also always ask the inevitable question “Do you like circumcised cocks better?”. I don’t really. I worry about there not being skin to move with my hand (or in this case feet) when I was touching him and it was somehow less satisfying… that isn’t what I said though. That would have been very harsh and I’m sure that on another person it wouldn’t have made a difference. Anyway… we’d start arguing about something politically affected Jewish people. I love a good debate… but when I just wanted sex and was already obliging to his fetish which I didn’t share, it was a bit much. I kept it up the arrangement until I found a viable replacement though. It sounds cold I know, but it served us both, so why not?

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? I asked him about his sexual background and after a few times we stopped using condoms. I was on the pill but it made me really hormonal…. so then just took the risk for a while. Not ideal I know.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I wanted human contact without the emotions. He was around the corner and would come any time I called. He liked me and I knew I could try things out with him too. It was easy and it was dependable.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Hardly ever any.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I got the impression that he was starting to want more. He’d start messaging me about topics of debate surrounding Jewish political and humanitarian issues and would ask my opinions about day-to-day things. It was flattering but annoying and I unintentionally phased him out as I began talking with other people. We still talk sometimes but just as vague friends now.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My housemates and close friends knew at the time and after. They thought it was funny, that he was odd and were perplexed that I was satisfying his foot fetish when they knew it definitely wasn’t a relationship and that it definitely wasn’t something I bought into. His name remains notorious to this day.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was consensual and we didn’t walk away at a loss, but it wasn’t always wanted. I often found myself regretting inviting him over.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No. It was what it said on the tin. It also makes me fully appreciate an unselfish partner and a real connection. It really does make all the difference.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was that I could distract myself and had the freedom to try something new even if I did decide that it wasn’t for me. The worst? That I was constantly having to give my opinion on Jewish related topics when I’d just cum. No thanks. 
It taught me that it’s very easy to settle and put up with things not being ideal, but that when you’re shaken out of that, you realise very quickly how destructive that can be.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

For Susan’s other story, see The Perfect Hookup Spread Over Three Countries

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