by Violet

Gender: Female
Age: 33
Race/ethnicity: European
Location: Wellington, NZ
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Occupation: Writer
Relationship status: Attached
Religious affiliation: Buddhist
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? Determined on an individual basis
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? more than 50
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? none

Jockey Slut

How long ago did this hookup happen? 1998 – 16 years ago

How would you best classify this hookup? Failed one night stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was one half of Source Direct, which was a hot drum n bass duo in the 90s. I think he was the slightly less good looking one. He was not very tall and not wildly cute, but he wore cool clothes and I knew he drove a cool car because on my bedroom wall I had had a picture from a magazine of him and his music partner posing beside their matching cars.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I had just arrived in London because I was crazy about drum n bass. I went to a famous party called Swerve, hosted by Fabio, where many of the top DJs played and hung out. I spied Source Direct in the corner and got talking to one of them. We got along well and he gave me a mix tape (actual cassette!) and suggested we meet up the next day for lunch. But then we had more drinks and one of us suggested a hotel instead (I can’t remember who). We left the bar and the other half of Source Direct pulled up in the alley in his car, with Kemi & Storm as passengers, and they tried to change his mind but he stayed.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We went to a hotel and I think we started kissing on the bed but then he said he felt really sick and he went and vomited in the bath. I think he might have ended up sleeping there. We didn’t have sex. In the morning I felt so stupid I offered to pay for the room, and he accepted!! I distinctly remember it cost 89 pounds, which was about $270 NZ at the time – a lot of money!

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We did not get so far as to discuss any precautions as he was too drunk. I would like to think we would have used a condom, though I didn’t have one on me.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was infatuated with all British drum n bass DJs but Source Direct were really, really cool at the time and I probably thought that a one night stand might lead to a permanent relationship and I would learn how to make drum n bass and be a successful DJ like Kemi & Storm and live happily ever after.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Alcohol was definitely involved. It gave me the courage to talk to him (though I was young and rather cute at the time) and I’m sure he would not have agreed/suggested going to the hotel if he had been sober. In hindsight, it could have been drugs he was on too. Not sure.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt very stupid. I think he should have paid for the hotel. I wish I had met up for lunch instead as that might have led to friendship. I don’t know what he’s doing now. I wish they’d make more music – they were the best.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I never told a single person about this hook up until quite recently when I was drunk with a friend of mine, who is also a drum n bass producer, and so he knew of Source Direct. He thought it was awesome.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was very wanted by me; I’m not so sure by him. I did not get the impression he was in the habit of picking up girls. But I imagine it was an alluring novelty to have someone from the other side of the world know all about your music.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No, I don’t regret it. It’s funny. However, I never tried to hook up with another British drum n bass DJ after that and I so I rather wish I had chosen a different one and had a successful liaison. Maybe MC GQ would have been more fun, or Die or Suv.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was the seedy glamour when we had left the club and were making our way through Soho, very late at night, looking for somewhere to shag. The worst was standing in the alley when his friends were disapprovingly trying to change his mind.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative


Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? I recommend everyone try to bed a hero at least once in life. They don’t need to be famous – just someone you think may be out of your league. You’ll soon see everyone is just as awkward when the clothes come off.

For more stories by Violet, click here.

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