What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 38
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Poland
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Copy editor
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 15
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Just Got Engaged, Time To Sleep Around.
How long ago did this hookup happen? 13 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was female, 30 years old, around 5’6″, with a modestly athletic build. We had never hooked up before. How did I feel about her? Well, I just wanted to have sex with her once or twice. It turned out she was looking for the same thing.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We met at a group getaway over a long weekend. It was just a bunch of friends and acquaintances in cabins in the woods, drinking beer and relaxing – not a sexually-themed gathering or anything like that. She was a girlfriend of a friend of a friend. During that weekend, we got wasted and started making out when nobody was around. This was fortunate because I had just got engaged to my long-term girlfriend like a week or two before.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Oral (both ways), vaginal, anal, lots of kissing, it was passionate, full-on sex. She was a very generous lover and enjoyed some dirty talk. We had two hookup sessions. The first lasted a whole night and through the morning. Her boyfriend was out of town and I told my fiancee I was visiting a friend in another city. The second was just for a few hours, I borrowed a friend’s apartment.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? No expectations, we were both clear on that from the beginning. The next day I felt fine. I cheated on my fiancee but I honestly didn’t/don’t feel bad about it. How do I feel now? Well, I hope she’s doing fine in life, etc., but I don’t especially miss her or anything. It was just two people who wanted to fuck, no strings attached.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Thought it was an important experience to have, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? One friend. He thought it was cool, especially the anal sex, which he’d never done before.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sex was fantastic.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? A little bit of worry that we’d risked pregnancy and/or STDs. It was stupid to go without a condom, but people are stupid sometimes (often)!
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It made me more open to the idea of cheating on my partner. It also confirmed for me that casual sex is absolutely fine. And in other hookups since then, I’ve been much more careful about condom use, etc.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? People should be more open about sex, especially when it comes to secret desires/fantasies. Like bi-curious people in long term relationships should have the freedom to explore their sexual inclinations with their partner’s consent. Otherwise, the urge could push them into behaviors they would otherwise like to avoid.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Awesome!
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!